It is normal to be sad and disappointed when you love and get rejected or when someone breaks up with you but it becomes troublesome when the person in question spirals into a depressive episode.
When broken up with someone or when rejected by someone, the person becomes less and less productive and less lively, they do not do anything they are supposed to, they have anxiety, emotional distress, and grief typically the signs of depression.
In this current age of “modernity” and liberalism, Rwandan society has entered into an era of emotional trauma and distress all because of what we know as Kigali we share, a sentence meant to depict the normalization of unfaithfulness and other questionable lifestyles.
There are many people affected by all this many are clinically depressed because of certain situations that happened to them.
I had a conversation with a girl who suffered the consequences of this type of lifestyle and let’s just say the lifestyle didn’t work in her favor.
This Rwandan girl aged 27, met a questionable guy on another online platform. That is how their story begins.
{{How it all started }}
The year 2020 was tough for almost everyone. People were stuck at home and didn’t get to meet new people, and certainly could go to public places because of due to Covid-19 related restrictions.
Now some people chose to continue this life and others choose to take matters into their own hands and download dating apps.
That is what this girl called Boo (not real name) did.
Boo was a lively girl, always eager to meet new people and fall in love and do all kinds of things, she was figuratively a bright soul.
But all this changed when she met Franck, a Rwandan Diaspora who is often in Rwanda for business.
Boo downloaded Tinder dating app in May 2020, not long after she received a text message from Franck. She stalked his profile a little and of course, liked what she saw and replied immediately.
“I didn’t play hard to get,” she said
They then went on to further get to know each other through texting and face time.
{{How the man got her in his pocket}}
As boo described the man, he was smooth and funny and flirtatious. Franck told her many things and knew how to spice up a conversation.
He made her uncontrollably laugh which was like a hook he used to draw her in and grab her at the first chance he got.
“I don’t know about you but funny guys were irresistible to me,” she said.
She fell head over heels for this guy in such a short period which was frightening according to her.
“I usually don’t fall in love quickly, I take my time but it is like this guy had drugged me or something. I was completely smitten,” she said
{{They started dating}}
By the beginning of 2021, they had arranged to meet in person since Franck was to come back to Rwanda for business.
“We arranged to meet and did so in January 2021, which is when he officially asked me to be his girlfriend.”
Franck was supposed to spend more time in Rwanda and they eventually used the most out of it.
“We were most of the time together when he wasn’t working, I fell more in love,” she said
Boo said that even though they never said anything about marriage, she was ready to marry him right then and there.
“We never talked about marriage seriously but he was making so many promises and talking of so many projects we could do together. If he had asked, I would have married him right there.”
Franck later returned abroad in July after spending six months together with Boo and having fun together.
{{It all began to change}}
When Franck returned from abroad he started to change, he no longer spoke to her like he usually did.
“He completely changed and I didn’t know what to do, it was unbelievable and seemed like it was a different person. He was not my Franck, he was not the one I fell in love with,” she said.
He then continued to ignore her but she still hold on to the love she had for him, hoping it would bring him back to reason.
Unfortunately for her, it only got worse.
Through Franck’s friends, she learned that he had another girlfriend and the timeline was the same as the one Franck had used on Boo.
“It was unbelievable, I was in shock but I didn’t want to believe it but I was also afraid to confront him about it,” she said
Boo mastered courage and decided to confront him and his response made her distress even more painful as he admitted to it with no shame.
“He told me it was true, that it is normal. He told me to grow a pair and grow up,” she said.
“My heart shattered into a million pieces I couldn’t believe it. We later broke up,” Boo added
That is how Boo got her heartbroken even until now, she has not been able to move on or trust anyone else. She is still walking around with such a trauma.
It is not only her but there are so many stories. We can’t share in a single article but many young people are depressed because of similar situations that seem to have become an epidemic of heartbreaks.
As far as I am concerned, love is very complicated nowadays. People should take things slow and even be more skeptical with people. Don’t hastily give your heart as it might get broken.
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