Category: People

{{It is common knowledge that a lot of women do not have a good relationship with their mother- in- law, and this of course, is born out of failure to build an understanding between both parties. Most women have a wrong impression of the institution called marriage. They go into marriage, seeing their (potential) husband’s family (especially his mother) as competition, Instead of an ally or friend. This is often the Genesis of a rift between them and their mother- in- law.{}}}

Your mother-in-law is not your competition, she is the mother of the man you intend to marry, and whether you like it or not, she is there to stay. She has been there even before you, so the most you can do is trying to cohabit. I understand that most mothers- in- law tend to appear difficult, but I believe that it is all born out of an attempt to protect and make sure their sons get only the best (something even you would do if you were in her position). So Instead of fighting and hating her, there is a better alternative. Love her and befriend her, and you’ll see how different things would turn out.

To help you cultivate the perfect relationship with your mother-in-law, here are a few tips you might find interesting.

{{1. Create a good communication}}

Women are a bit similar — married or single, old or young, they all want the same thing, to feel loved and appreciated. Instead of distancing yourself from your mother-in-law, try to build a cordial relationship with her. Draw her close to yourself and treat her as you would your own mother. Call her as often as you can to ask after her well-being. This will go a long way in making her feel drawn to you. Don’t buy into the fallacious idea that mothers-in-law are all annoying, without getting to know your own first. Creating a good communication between the two of you is a good way to start.

{{2. She will criticize and scold you…just don’t take it too seriously}}

Have you ever met a mother that does not scold and criticise? They all do, if they feel the need to, but you should not take her criticisms too seriously. You must understand that all parents are protective, and sometimes, they do things that may appear wrong to us just to keep their children from getting hurt. Your mother-in-law may criticize and scold you, but it isn’t meant to spite you, really. It is only a protective measure. Also, we cannot ignore the fact that sometimes the criticism they dish out are meant to correct you. As long as you understand this, you will have a good relationship with your mother-in-law.
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3. Connect her to your own mother}}

Connecting your mother -in- law to your own mother will help strengthen the bond between you two by bringing your families closer even more. They’re probably in the same age bracket and of course, are both mothers, so your mother-in-law would find it far easier to build a friendship with her than with you, but be rest assured that once that happens, your mother-in-law would be drawn to you the more. ‘How?’ It’s simple. Get your mother to call and visit her on occasions. And who knows?

{{4. Allow her all due privileges
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Your mother -in- law is the same woman who bore your husband after carrying him in her belly for months. She is the one who nurtured and watched him grow into the man you met and married, so do you not think she’s entitled to getting all the appreciation your husband gives her? Be it money, clothes, cars, attention etc. Allow your mother-in-law to get it, as long as it isn’t at the detriment of your husband’s pockets (if he can afford it). Do not try to block favours from getting to her; instead, encourage your husband to give to her because you’re the one she’ll blame and fight if she perceives that she’s not being loved enough.
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5. Your children are also hers}}

At least, that is what she thinks. When (if) you have children, she’d want them to visit her often to spend time with her. Do not be an obstacle to that desire. Allow her easy access to your children because denying her that would make her feel disrespected. I know you love and also want your children around you, but these are some of the sacrifices you need to make to keep your mother-in-law happy.

{{6. Show her how much you love her son}}

The reason why most mothers-in-law tend to be too protective of their sons is just because they fear that there are a lot of bad women out there, and that no one may be good enough for their son, but if you’re able to prove your love for their son to them, you can get them to be chill and fully let you into their hearts. Put their son’s interests first, and make sure they know that you would do anything to make him happy.
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7. Show good behavior around her}}

This doesn’t mean you have to be disrespectful and castigate her or your husband in her absence, no, I’m simply saying you have to let her know how courteous and well- mannered you are. Some women have a habit of not knowing how to comport and behave, even around their mother-in-law. No woman would want you around her son with that sort of attitude. Learn how to conduct yourself around her. Respect her and your husband. Do the chores when you have to, and show good behaviour generally. I assure you, you’ll always have a good place in her heart.

ELCREMA

{{The isolated Zimbabwean president’s perch at the top of the AU could reengage him with Europe by easing a travel ban imposed in 2002, and give greater voice to his longstanding push for African economic self-sufficiency.}}

When Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe took the helm of the Organization of African Unity (OAU) in 1997, he did so as a leading statesman — the venerable revolutionary who had guided one of Africa’s most triumphant post-colonial success stories. That year, his country boasted the fastest-growing economy on the continent, with surplus-producing farmland and national parks packed with tourists.

Almost two decades later, as Mr. Mugabe takes the chairmanship of the African Union, the OAU’s successor as Africa’s governing body, the 90-year-old leader presides over one of the continent’s frailest states, blighted by more than a decade of violent land reclamation, hyperinflation, and Western sanctions.

Experts say his fiery anti-Western rhetoric and radical politics are unlikely to have a significant policy impact during his year-long stint. But for Mugabe himself, the largely ceremonial job could offer a major international soapbox from which to shape a deeply tarnished legacy.

“Here is a man who, in the 1990s, was revered by the world, but then became a tragic figure not only for Zimbabwe but for the entire continent,” says Sabelo Ndlovu-Gatsheni, a Zimbabwean historian and social scientist at the University of South Africa. “To have this platform again gives him a chance at the end of his life to try and redeem his legacy as a pan-Africanist and a revolutionary.”

Mugabe will not wield executive power over the AU, a job that rests squarely on the shoulders of chair of the African Union Commission (AUC), the South African Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma. Rather, he will represent the AU in global forums and chair its summits.

“He can do everything in his power to vilify the West, but the truth is it will barely affect the technical or pragmatic aspects of those partnerships [between African and Western countries],” says Dimpho Motsamai, a researcher at the Institute for Security Studies in South Africa. “There’s quite a strong understanding in the global community that leaders in ceremonial posts like this do not speak on behalf of their entire region or continent. Mugabe’s rhetoric is his own.”

The OAU that Mugabe chaired in 1997 and 1998 faced a much different African landscape. Rwanda was still dealing with the consequences of its genocide, and Joseph Kony and the Lord’s Resistance Army were relentlessly abducting child soldiers in Uganda. AIDS was an unmanageable epidemic and civil wars were percolating in Somalia, Liberia, the two Congos – one of which was still called Zaire – Sierra Leone, and Angola.

Some things still remain the same – as seen in the Congo Republic and Somalia – but much has changed: Ebola is now the new deathly virus, “Africa rising” describes the continent’s economic potential, South Sudan is a new addition, and the threat of Islamic radicalization threatens the east (Al Shabab) and west (Boko Haram).

In 2015, peacekeeping remains the AU’s most visible role, though the organization entertains extensive ambitions to become a leading incubator of African innovation and development. For Mugabe, the role will have at least one significant practical consequence: On Feb. 3, the European Union announced that it would ease a travel ban imposed on the president in 2002, allowing him to travel to Europe “under his African Union chairmanship capacity.”

But as Ms. Motsamai notes, despite the fact that Mugabe had previously been barred from Europe, his appointment was hardly intended as a snub to the West. In fact, the chairmanship rotates annually among the continent’s five regions (north, east, west, central, and south). When southern Africa came up to bat, most of its members had just finished or were preparing for elections, leaving the Zimbabwean the most obvious choice. (South African President Jacob Zuma might have been a contender, if not for the fact that Ms. Dlamini-Zuma is his ex-wife). To top off his credentials, Mugabe was already chairman of the Southern African Development Community (SADC).

But if there is little symbolism to Mugabe’s appointment to chair the AU, he himself still has a symbolic hold on much of the continent as a one-time revolutionary and fervent Africanist, says Aditi Lalbahadur, who researches SADC for the South African Institute of International Affairs (SAIIA).

“If there is one practical area Mugabe really has the authority to push for change [in the AU], it’s with respect to the organization’s economic self-sufficiency,” says Ms. Lalbahadur. Currently, African countries pay less than half of the organization’s budget, with the slack taken up by China, the European Union, and the United States. The AU’s gleaming headquarters in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, was entirely bankrolled by the Chinese. But Mugabe, who has long championed an end to African reliance on aid, may be one of the few leaders with the moral authority to steer the AU toward paying more of its own bills, Lalbahadur notes.

“There’s a natural synergy there between what Mugabe says and the goals of the organization,” she says.

In fact, says Mr. Ndlovu-Gatsheni, to write off the Zimbabwean’s politics entirely is to miss what has allowed him to stay in power so long, even as his country all but collapsed around him.

“For his entire political career, he has never lost the ability to connect with genuine grievances people are feeling,” he says. “That’s been at the heart of his political survival.”

{{The Christian Science Monitor}}