A guide to comforting a loved one in these heartwrenching times

It can often be difficult for people to know how to comfort their loved ones when it comes to a pain they can’t change.

It can either be your parents, spouse or a person you love. Here is how you can comfort them.

{{Make the first step }}

When it comes to grieving, it is hard to make the first step and approach people to tell them how you feel.

It is better to make the first step and approach your loved one who is grieving and ask them how they feel and how you should help.

{{Being there without forcing them to talk }}

Sometimes we think helping is telling someone to talk but often silence can be fundamental.

When you tell your loved one you are there to listen, they should not be forced to talk about their testimonies. They can talk about how they feel at the moment but going deep into what happened is not really essential.

{{Be proactive}}

Sentences like ‘call me if you need me’ or ‘I’ll be there if you need me’ are usually not very effective.

What is more effective is to be proactive, grieving people will not usually call you if they need something. What they really need is for people around them to figure out something that would be helpful and just do it.

Small actions like helping them in their day-to-day activity are all that they need from you.

{{Watching your words}}

Words like ‘It is what it is’ or ‘It happened for a reason’ or ‘I know how you feel’ are never helpful.

Even though they can be true at some point it is not wise to use them at the moment, those can intensify their pain or make them angry.

Be soft and be gentle and most importantly be attentive.

{{Knowing your limits }}

When you love someone, you can often want to rid them of their pain but you have to know that you cannot change their situation. You can’t reverse what happened. That is why you need to accept that there is a limit to what you can do.

Nothing you can say or do will fix this. You can, however, tell them your heart is with them. Let them know you are willing to sit with them and their pain.

{{Do not ignore them and their pain}}

You should not ignore what they are going through because you do not know what to do or how to do it. Acknowledging them and their pain is crucial.

They need to hear from you that you are there for them, that you will help them, listen to them and give them time to grieve and express their loss.