As I grew up, I used to look at women in their 20’s and think how much they had their lives together and how their lives looked appealing to a kid who knew nothing about life so far. Now as a woman in my early 20’s, life is a rollercoaster.
I have talked to several women who are now in their 30’s about life, dating and marriage and this is what they would like to share with you.
Nadine Bucyana, now in her 30’s says that during her 20’s she would have wished to live and learn from Christian elders and friends, some adventures were not necessary or worth her time.
“We used to spend most of our time doing things and making decisions at the heat of the moment without clearly thinking about it. Most people are now living with the consequences.” She said.
Her advice to women in their 20’s is to live life fully, enjoy it, be grateful and learn something new.
“After doing all those things, you must know that your decisions today will affect your future. So, make sure you are making the right ones.”
Bucyana continued to reminisce on the use of social media noting that people in their 20’s should learn how to appropriately use social media.
“Social media will either tarnish your image or your friend’s image. Nowadays, many want to be social media influencers without purpose and public figures without manners,” she observed.
Janvière Uwase,30, currently working at Kigali Genocide Memorial also has a message to share with women in their 20’s.
She advised people in their 20’s to go at their own pace.
“I wish these girls would set their own pace and not go by the standard of society. When you go by the society, you can regret certain decisions your whole life, sometimes you might ruin your life just because society has dictated you to do something,” Uwase noted.
She said that girls in their 20’s should be themselves and set clear goals.
“You should work hard to achieve what you want, and there is no manual that says you must have success at a certain age. If it is meant to be it will be.”
According to Diane Ingabire, another mother of two also in her 30’s currently working with a foreign exchange company, knowing that her happiness depends of her is the best thing to consider in life.
She advised women in their 20’s is to be unique and follow their own path without influence of society’s pressure.
“Be yourself, have your own goals and live your own life. You don’t have a lot of responsibilities while you are in your 20’s. It is the best time to do anything you set your mind to and take advantage of all opportunities you have.”
A mother of three also revealed that she would have loved to follow through with her hobbies and physical fitness during her 20’s.
“Since I am very occupied now with work and my kids, I don’t really get time to follow through with the things I once really enjoyed doing. My advice to women who are in their 20’s is to do what they’re passionate about, career is important but it is not everything that matters in life,” she said
Arlette Umuhoza, a mother who currently works in capital management, said that she wishes she knew how important some skills are in her 20’s.
“Like driving and swimming, it took me moving to a different city to know that driving is essential. This hit me hard due to the fact that I neither know how to swim nor how to drive. It got me to thinking that there are so many other skills that we ignore yet they are very essential,” she said.
I think women in their 20’s should pursue every skill they can learn how to leverage, life has a tendency to lead us in unexpected paths which is why I think it is better to be fully packaged.
Umuhoza advises to women in their 20’s to be flexible and open minded to all possibilities that life brings to them.
“Don’t take a chosen career too seriously. Be flexible and open-minded to trying new paths and switching” she said.
Some of us think that it is a mess if we don’t have our lives all figured out by 25.
On the contrary, it is an opportunity to try out different things and see what suits you the most.
I have a friend of mine who was always interested in finance. She studied to be a banker and now she works in fashion. Careers can be switched. Sometimes , they can be a terrifying move but worth it in the long run.
Doria who is also in her 30’s, says, wishes she would have waited a bit more before getting married in her 20’s.
“I rushed to get married even though I felt like I was not totally ready to settle down. If I was to do it again, I would wait a little bit more. I don’t regret marrying my husband but I think we were still young and still had a lot to learn before marriage,” she said
Sometimes pressure can make us lean into things we are not ready for, either from society or family, it is always better to do something you totally feel ready for.
Doria’s advice to women in their 20’s is to date for happiness not for marriage.
“I think most of us date to immediately marry, which to my opinion is rushing. I think you should date to be happy and if marriage comes along with the package it will be great,” she said
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Many women I have talked to agreed that marriage is something that must be thought about carefully.
“If the red flags are present in the relationship, they will not disappear in the marriage,” one woman said.
“If you don’t love him, you don’t. Don’t think you will after getting married and don’t certainly marry because you’re pregnant, marry because you have found someone worth your while,” another woman advised.
Generally, most women I talked to emphasized that your 20’s are the best time to up one’s skills, have goals, discipline and most importantly find yourself.
I do not think Life is about having it all together, I think Life is about having the courage and patience to figure it out in your own space at your own pace.
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