There is always a debate around the subject but it all comes down to people and their personal experiences around the subject of friendship, love, and breakup. <\/p>\n
I had a conversation with many people. Some of them defend friendship between exes while others were totally against. They prefer to move on and never look back. <\/p>\n
Those that say that friendship is possible among exes argue that it all comes down to the reason for your breakup, in case the reason for the breakup has had no direct effect on the friendship, then there is no need to break up. <\/p>\n
Harad one of the people I managed to talk to says that if the breakup is done amicably and there is no resentment and the basis of your friendship was not affected, then friendship is totally possible. <\/p>\n
\u201cIn case the breakup has not affected your existing friendship, then it is possible to be friends. If there is no resentment and disrespect, I don\u2019t see why the friendship would also end with the relationship,\u201d he said<\/p>\n
Another person I talked to on condition of anonymity agreed with Harad. She said friendship is possible noting that she is friends with most of exes. <\/p>\n
\u201cMy ex is my best friend, we broke up because we wanted different things. That is why we remained in contact and we still care about each other,\u201d she said. <\/p>\n
She said the reason for the breakup will make a way for friendship or if you will both have to live like strangers. <\/p>\n
\u201cAt the end of the day it all comes down to why you broke up, but if the two wish to remain friends I think it is possible,\u201d she observed. <\/p>\n
Kayitare, another person I talked to says friendship is possible depending on how both care about each other and the relationship you had. <\/p>\n
\u201cWhen people are mature, they want the best for each other and they break up amicably and it is normal to stay friends when you still care about each other,\u201d he said<\/p>\n
He added that if people have been together through a lot they should not stop caring just because they broke up for some reason. <\/p>\n
\u201cWhen you are mature, you act like it. When someone has been important in your life, you can\u2019t just throw that away when you still care and don\u2019t stop checking on each other,\u201d he said. <\/p>\n
Kayitare says that it all depends on the people and the depth of their friendship. <\/p>\n
Uwase Kevine disclosed that it all comes down to communication and what you both want. <\/p>\n
\u201cI mean if it wasn\u2019t a heated breakup anytime I would prefer to stay friends, people have to stop complicating things.\u201d <\/p>\n
She added that it is also a matter of trust and boundaries where things are much easier when there is direct communication. <\/p>\n
\u201cTrust, boundaries, and communication are key in building a sane friendship between exes.\u201d <\/p>\n
Uwase added that clear boundaries are essential in any friendship and that it becomes more essential when it comes to being friends with your ex. <\/p>\n
\u201cIt is possible to be friends but clear boundaries must be established so as not to cross any limits,\u201d she said <\/p>\n
Many disagree with what these people said. They argue that when what brought the two together is over, so should any type of relationship afterward. <\/p>\n
Arsene Muvunyi says that it is better to move on and live separate lives. <\/p>\n
\u201cWhen people separate at some point, they have once had feelings for each other, at some points those feelings can come back and this can be an inconvenience for them and for other people.\u201d he said <\/p>\n
He added that when people continue to talk and hang out like friends, it can bring up certain emotions and feelings they thought they had gotten over. <\/p>\n
\u201cFeelings come back whether they are prepared or not and sometimes they might get caught up in the same cycle over and over again, and cheat on their current partners,\u201d he said <\/p>\n
Muvunyi continued to say, he will never get romantically involved with a girl who still hangs out with her exes. <\/p>\n
\u201cI will never! I cannot trust her. Most of the time she would still have feelings for the other guy,\u201d he said <\/p>\n
\u201cIt once happened to me, I dated this girl who was friend with her ex. I didn\u2019t know it at the time but she later cheated on me. It was a hard lesson to learn,\u201d he continued <\/p>\n
Aline Umuhoza also told me that she once fell in love with a young man who was still dating his ex and swore not to do it again.<\/p>\n
“Franck (her ex) was always with Jessica (Frank’s ex). They always said they were just friends,\u201d she said <\/p>\n
\u201cBecause I loved him, I couldn\u2019t leave him early but it was obvious that he still loved Jessica. I learnt the lesson bitterly,\u201d added Umuhoza. <\/p>\n
Often times, people want to replace love with friendship, but sometimes this is not for anyone’s benefit.<\/p>\n
People always debate about this but in any case, it depends on different factors; who you are, why you broke up, your feelings, and the direction you want to take in your life. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
{\u2018Can exes be friends?\u2019 is a question that resonated in many during or before relationships. Sometimes people fear being romantically involved with their friends because of the fear of a break up.} <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":62,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[46],"tags":[75],"byline":[3051],"hashtag":[],"class_list":["post-45581","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-social","tag-homenews","byline-leana-bisa"],"bylines":[{"id":3051,"name":"Leana Bisa","slug":"leana-bisa","description":"","image":{"id":0,"url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/?s=96&d=mm&f=y&r=g","alt":"Default avatar","title":"Default avatar","caption":"","mime_type":"image\/jpeg","sizes":[]},"user_id":null}],"contributors":[{"id":3051,"name":"Leana Bisa","slug":"leana-bisa","description":"","image":{"id":0,"url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/?s=96&d=mm&f=y&r=g","alt":"Default avatar","title":"Default avatar","caption":"","mime_type":"image\/jpeg","sizes":[]},"user_id":null}],"featured_image":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45581","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/62"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=45581"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45581\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=45581"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=45581"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=45581"},{"taxonomy":"byline","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/byline?post=45581"},{"taxonomy":"hashtag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/hashtag?post=45581"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}