{"id":37349,"date":"2018-04-23T14:24:08","date_gmt":"2018-04-23T14:24:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/how-men-abandon-mothers-of-disabled-children\/"},"modified":"2018-04-26T10:21:14","modified_gmt":"2018-04-26T10:21:14","slug":"how-men-abandon-mothers-of-disabled-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/how-men-abandon-mothers-of-disabled-children\/","title":{"rendered":"How men abandon mothers of disabled children"},"content":{"rendered":"

As a family that depends on casual labour for a living, the situation changed from bad to worse because they had to spend more time with children, giving them special care.<\/p>\n

It is in this situation that the husband decided to abandon the family and went to a neighboring country.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy husband failed to cope up with the conditions of the children and abandoned us. He went to Uganda,\u201d she tells this writer. <\/p>\n

Currently, Mukayiranga has a family of four children which she fends for. <\/p>\n

\u201cOf course I try my best to raise them much as I am alone. Life is a rough journey which I must walk without the kids\u2019 father,\u201d she says. <\/p>\n

“I consulted different hospitals, but ended up without getting them the services I needed. My child has mobility problems, he needs physiotherapy. I was using health insurance (Mutuelle de Sante) which the last hospital, Rilima in Bugesera , we were referred to rejected,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

She said that for providing physiotherapy services to the elder child, Mukayiranga was requested to pay over Rwf2 million. As she could not afford such amount of money, Mukayiranga decided to take the child back home and wait for God\u2019s miracles.<\/p>\n

{{Cursed?}}<\/p>\n

Pacifique Nibarere is another woman in Bumbogo Sector of Gasabo District who gave birth to a disabled child with a man whom they were yet to get married.<\/p>\n

After discovering that the child had a disability, the man did not give her any support, rather he mistreated her.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot only did the man abuse me, but also both my family and his and the whole village rejected me saying that they can\u2019t receive a disabled child. They were describing the child as a curse,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cLater, I got married to a different man. But his family also abused and insulted the man for marrying a woman who has a disabled child. There is a time when they said that the child could better die,\u201d she added. <\/p>\n

{{ Local leaders speak}}<\/p>\n

The Bumbogo Sector Executive Secretary in Charge of Social Affairs, Marie Chantal Uwimana said that people with disabilities is a special category that the government takes care of.<\/p>\n

She admits that some men abandon their wives who give birth to disabled children, yet they need all the physical and emotional support as their daily lives are intertwined in the not so ordinary activities. <\/p>\n

\u201cA family which has a disabled child does not get enough time to work as they always spend most of their time taking care of these children. They don\u2019t go to work far from their homes, because they can\u2019t leave the children alone,\u201d she says. <\/p>\n

\u201cMost of the time when a family is vulnerable, the man abandons them and blames the woman to be responsible for the disability,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

{{Efforts to curb the problem}}<\/p>\n

A local non-government organization, Love With Actions, that works in Bumbogo Sector to help children from vulnerable families with disabilities, has started to advocate for children and help create opportunities for families with conflicts that arise as a result of bearing disabled children.<\/p>\n

The Love With Actions Executive Director, Gilbert Kubwimana says that the organisation supports 17 children from 16 families in the sector.<\/p>\n

He says that the organisation brings together parents who have disabled children and train them in making handicrafts.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe brought together women who have disabled children and others from the community and train them in making handicrafts so that they get empowered to develop themselves and wean them off dependence on donations,\u201d he explains.<\/p>\n

He says that the NGO brings together family members with conflicts and trains them in ways of living peacefully and how they should treat children with disabilities.<\/p>\n

\u201cThree families which had erupting conflicts have been reconciled and today are living peacefully. This is a process that continues with regular visits and advising them so that they continue to understand shared responsibilities on a disabled child,\u201d he explains.<\/p>\n

The organisation also advocates for children\u2019s medication and assistive tools like wheelchairs. Families are also supported into initiating economic activities, helping them graduate from poverty.<\/p>\n

{{Efforts paying-off }} <\/p>\n

After being supported by the organisation, one of Mukayiranga\u2019s disabled children was taken in a Centre in Gahanga, Kicukiro District which cares for children with disabilities. She said that Love With Actions continues to advocate and seeking funds for the child\u2019s medication. <\/p>\n

She says that after taking the elder child from home, she was relieved both physically and emotionally as she manages to fend for the whole family.<\/p>\n

Another mother, Nibarere, says her child who has bowed legs was taken to Ririma Hospital in Bugesera where he is awaiting operation.<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter being operated, he will go back home and go to school like other children. He has value as other children,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

After being linked to the organisation, her family has also realized that the child is a human being. <\/p>\n

\u201cThe NGO restored the hope of mothers with disabled children. We got together and formed a savings group and do different projects that support our families\u2019 livelihoods. We are thankful,\u201d she appreciates. <\/p>\n

Bumbogo Sector Executive Secretary in Charge of Social Affairs, Uwimana says that the government does not have enough resources to support all disabled people. She hails partners for programmes that change lives of families for the better. <\/p>\n

“The government supports persons with disabilities, but we can’t afford all; what they need, when we get partners, they facilitate us in the betterment of their lives, “she said.<\/p>\n

The problem of men abandoning their families is not limited to Gasabo District alone as another local organization; Shalom Community Organisation working in Rubavu District has a group of seven women who were abandoned by their husbands after giving birth to disabled children.<\/p>\n

The head of the organization, Jean Paul Mukunzi says that children with disabilities and their mothers face discrimination.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs a way to help these women and children, we advocate for them and be given wheelchairs among other necessities. We also organize healing and social cohesion training which facilitate them to understand how they treat children with disabilities,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

In general, Mukunzi says that there are different children with disabilities hidden in families. He said that poverty also contribute in parting the families. <\/p>\n

{{Council of Persons with disabilities speak}}<\/p>\n

Speaking to IGIHE, the President of National Commission for Persons with Disabilities, Romalis Niyomugabo says that the root cause of men abandoning women should not be linked to disabled children.<\/p>\n

He says that families may have conflicts and women take the disabled child as the root cause for separation.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe ask local government authorities and the council\u2019s officials at local level, to investigate the cause of the problem. In any case we ensure that the right of the child is ensured as any other child,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

He says that when they establish that family conflicts affect the rights of the disabled child, the council intervenes. <\/p>\n

{{MIGEPROF aware of the problem}}<\/p>\n

In a telephone interview with IGIHE, the Minister of Gender and Family Promotion, Esperance Nyirasafari said that they are aware of the problem.<\/p>\n

She said that when she visited a centre providing medical services to children with disabilities in Rusizi District, women told her about the problem.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I visited Centre des Handicapes Saint Francois d’Assise in Rusizi, women told me about the problem. Most of the time when a new born has disabilities, they become a woman\u2019s child, no man can take them to the centre for medical care and abandon them,\u201d she explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe encourage men to take children as their responsibilities. Abandoning children is bad behavior. Problems should be addressed in partnership by the whole family,\u201d she explained.<\/p>\n

{{New programme to support families with persons with disabilities in offing}}<\/p>\n

According to Nyirasafari, the government, through the Ministry of Local Governance (MINALOC) is planning to help vulnerable families through social protection programmes.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere is a project in MINALOC where we plan to provide jobs to people whose families have persons with disabilities. In this project, they will be given jobs close to their homes and earn money to support their livelihoods,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

She encourages women who have such cases to report them to officials and help them track their husbands. <\/p>\n

\"Bumbogo<\/figure>\n
\"A<\/figure>\n
\"Julienne<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Julienne Mukayiranga, 28 a resident of Bumbogo Sector of Gasabo District, gave birth to two disabled children. The first is eight years old and the second is four.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[72],"byline":[197],"hashtag":[],"class_list":["post-37349","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news","tag-featured-news-home","byline-john-mbaraga"],"bylines":[{"id":197,"name":"John Mbaraga","slug":"john-mbaraga","description":"","image":{"id":0,"url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/?s=96&d=mm&f=y&r=g","alt":"Default avatar","title":"Default avatar","caption":"","mime_type":"image\/jpeg","sizes":[]},"user_id":19}],"contributors":[{"id":197,"name":"John Mbaraga","slug":"john-mbaraga","description":"","image":{"id":0,"url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/?s=96&d=mm&f=y&r=g","alt":"Default avatar","title":"Default avatar","caption":"","mime_type":"image\/jpeg","sizes":[]},"user_id":19}],"featured_image":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37349","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/19"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=37349"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37349\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=37349"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=37349"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=37349"},{"taxonomy":"byline","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/byline?post=37349"},{"taxonomy":"hashtag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/hashtag?post=37349"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}