{"id":37248,"date":"2018-04-09T12:02:07","date_gmt":"2018-04-09T12:02:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/burera-parents-conflicts-taking-toll-on-children\/"},"modified":"2018-04-09T12:01:48","modified_gmt":"2018-04-09T12:01:48","slug":"burera-parents-conflicts-taking-toll-on-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/burera-parents-conflicts-taking-toll-on-children\/","title":{"rendered":"Burera: Parents conflicts taking toll on children"},"content":{"rendered":"

The young wife, who lives in Gatebe Sector of Burera District in the Northern Province, dropped out from primary six about two years ago as a consequence of her parents\u2019 incessant conflicts which often made the mother and children spend nights away from home, fleeing from their father\u2019s beatings.<\/p>\n

\u201cI got married at 17 because of the conflicts at my parents\u2019 home. I luckily got a man to save me from the bad situation and I decided to join him. My elder sister also got married at 16 years of age as she was also tired of the situation at home,\u201d says Nyirambangutse in solemn face with tears lingering in the eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cConflicts between my mother and father kept persisting. We, as their children, tried to ease the tension but in vain. Families and neighbours intervened but our father became incorrigible. We fear our father will kill our mother as he is always saying.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her younger sister Th\u00e9r\u00e8se Ushizimpumu, 15, also dropped out from senior one last year because her conflict-torn family was not paying her school fees and materials.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am currently doing farm activities alongside my mother but I wish I go back to school if I get ways. I reported my drop out to local leaders; they tried to reconcile our parents but their conflicts have become irresolvable. I need help to go back to school. I should be doing senior two now,\u201d wishes Ushizimpumu.<\/p>\n

Her elder brother left his parents\u2019 miserable home in search for a better living in Uganda. <\/p>\n

\u201cHe is working on tea plantation. He escaped from our family\u2019s conflicts and harassment including beatings by his father,\u201d the children\u2019s mother Sylvanie Baziki tells IGIHE on the sidelines of a community debate held in Gatebe Sector on Wednesday.<\/p>\n

The family\u2019s fate is one of the horrible situations taking heavy toll on children in some of the families living in the area bordering with Uganda.<\/p>\n

The debate that brought together citizens and local leaders was organised by the journalists\u2019 network PAX PRESS in collaboration with Care International, Rwanda Men\u2019s Resource Centre (RWAMREC) and Rwanda Women\u2019s Network.<\/p>\n

{{Parents in blame game}}<\/p>\n

Baziki got married to Jean N\u00e9pomusc\u00e8ne Karemye in 1979 and produced together eight children but their conflict erupted eight years ago when the wife sided with their son who accused the father of selling his assets, according to Baziki.<\/p>\n

The couple briefly shared their story publicly during the debate with Karemye coming forward first to say that his wife developed a bad habit of taking away agricultural produces three years ago.<\/p>\n

Baziki, who abandoned his husband last month to settle at her deceased parents\u2019 home, said Karemye has become incorrigible and not responding to local leaders\u2019 invitation for mediation as the audience clapped in agreement with Baziki\u2019s expression.<\/p>\n

Baziki said her husband has been selling away the farm yields without her consent and their standoff has now reached a deadlock because she cannot stay with a man who threatens of killing her. She was advised by local leaders to take her case to court last month but she was blocked by lack of court charges.<\/p>\n

Baziki, currently living with her last born daughter, seeks justice for having her share from the property which is entirely in the hands of her husband while the husband insists all the property belongs to him.<\/p>\n

Karemye\u2019s views on property and family management are shared by a number of men in the area such as F\u00e9licien Kaboga who told the gathering that he must take 90% and leave his wife with 10% of the family\u2019s management. <\/p>\n

Some other women expressed their grief over misunderstandings with their husbands who wanted to misuse the family\u2019s property but wives opposed them and ended up going to settle in Uganda where they married other wives, leaving heavy responsibilities to first wives for raising children alone.<\/p>\n

The gathering was tipped on the law governing family relationship adopted in 2016 stating that both spouses \u2013 man and woman \u2013 are jointly responsible for the management of the household, including moral and material support as well as its maintenance.<\/p>\n

Anastase Nteziryayo, the Executive Secretary of Gatebe Sector, said they had recently registered 30 families which have serious conflicts but some have settled disputes after intensive sensitisation on the benefits of getting rid of the couples\u2019 conflicts <\/p>\n

\u201cThere are still issues about family\u2019s property management where men feel they can use it as they please but a number of people are increasingly changing. These family conflicts seriously affect children and some drop out. We often try to get parents keep their children in schools but when parents have no means, the district and different partners intervene to help us get a child back to school. We have so far helped three children in our sector. We regularly teach families to avoid conflicts,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

Nteziryayo pledged to particularly follow up the case of Karemye and Baziki and make sure their last born gets back to school, saying the sector\u2019s office will take up her education if the family fails to do it.<\/p>\n

\"Gatebe<\/figure>\n
\"A<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Seventeen-year old Fortun\u00e9 Nyirambangutse was wed last year and now bears a one-month baby. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[75],"byline":[2813],"hashtag":[],"class_list":["post-37248","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news","tag-homenews","byline-jean-damour-mugabo-3"],"bylines":[{"id":2813,"name":"Jean d\u2019Amour Mugabo","slug":"jean-damour-mugabo-3","description":"","image":{"id":0,"url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/?s=96&d=mm&f=y&r=g","alt":"Default avatar","title":"Default avatar","caption":"","mime_type":"image\/jpeg","sizes":[]},"user_id":null}],"contributors":[{"id":2813,"name":"Jean d\u2019Amour Mugabo","slug":"jean-damour-mugabo-3","description":"","image":{"id":0,"url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/?s=96&d=mm&f=y&r=g","alt":"Default avatar","title":"Default avatar","caption":"","mime_type":"image\/jpeg","sizes":[]},"user_id":null}],"featured_image":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37248","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/19"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=37248"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37248\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=37248"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=37248"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=37248"},{"taxonomy":"byline","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/byline?post=37248"},{"taxonomy":"hashtag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.igihe.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/hashtag?post=37248"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}