By Kelly Mallory <\/p>\n
{Whether you\u2019re single, dating, or married, when your friend shares the news about her engagement, it should be a reason to celebrate, not criticize.}<\/p>\n
Despite the excitement for your newly-engaged friend, sometimes things might slip out of your mouth that may come from a place of jealousy that you wish you could take back. To help you avoid any awkward and potentially hurtful conversations with your friend, Kelly Mallory talked to etiquette expert Lizzie Post, co-author of Emily Post\u2019s Wedding Etiquette 6th edition, about the top five things you should never say.<\/p>\n
1.\t{{\u201cThat isn\u2019t the ring you wanted!\u201d}}<\/p>\n
Many women have a \u201cdream\u201d engagement ring, which usually details a certain shape, size and cut. If her S.O. picked out the ring, he must have put time and thought into the ring, along with a hefty paycheck.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt might not be what she was expecting or what you talked about, but it\u2019s still a sentimental and special piece of jewelry, so you need to be respectful of that,\u201d Post says. Now\u2019s the time to focus on the fact that she got engaged, not the fact that the ring isn\u2019t what she told you she wanted.\u201d<\/p>\n
2.\t{{\u201cHe should have said\/done [blank] when he proposed.\u201d}}<\/p>\n
A proposal memory will stay with someone for a lifetime, and it can never be repeated. \u201cClearly your friend is happy about it, so it\u2019s inappropriate to judge or criticize an experience that\u2019s one of the most important ones in her life,\u201d Post explains.<\/p>\n
Instead of correcting the way her S.O. proposed, or what he said during the \u201cWill you marry me?\u201d speech, it\u2019s important to see the inherent romantic quality in the proposal and engagement. Holding expectations for proposals and engagements hurts both your friend and the excitement of the engagement.<\/p>\n
3.{{\t\u201cIt\u2019s about time!\u201d}}<\/p>\n
The issue with this phrase is insinuating that your friend is late to the party. \u201cIt\u2019s making her feel like she should have done it a long time ago and it\u2019s not special because they\u2019ve been together for so long,\u201d Post explains. Each relationship follows its own timeline, and unless your engaged friend asks for your opinion, you shouldn\u2019t comment on the stage of the relationship.<\/p>\n
The same etiquette holds true even if your friend gets engaged after a month of knowing her partner. While it may seem somewhat rash, an engagement isn\u2019t the right time to criticize the development of a relationship.<\/p>\n
4.\t{{\u201cI\u2019m so single.\u201d}}<\/p>\n
It can be difficult to have your friend\u2019s relationship grow while you\u2019re still without a boyfriend. But a friend\u2019s engagement doesn\u2019t call for a pity party.
\n\u201cIt’s not about you right now,\u201d Post says emphatically. \u201cIt can be about you later.\u201d Don\u2019t say something like, \u2018I totally thought I would get engaged first; I\u2019m so happy for you, but sad for me.\u2019\u201d Your friend who\u2019s donning the new bling deserves the spotlight instead of shifting the focus to you. Save the single rant for your other single friends.<\/p>\n
5.\t{{\u201cAre you sure you want to do this?\u201d}}<\/p>\n
Saying \u201cyes\u201d to a S.O.\u2019s proposal is an important life decision that already requires a lot of discernment. Placing doubt in your friend\u2019s mind by saying things like ,\u201cAre you sure about this?\u201d or \u201cYou sure you don\u2019t want to reconsider?\u201d disregards her opinion.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow is not the time to be questioning your friend\u2019s motives or decisions,\u201d Post says. \u201cIf you\u2019re truly confused or concerned about the engagement, you can talk about it at a different time, but tread carefully.\u201d Being a friend includes trusting your friend\u2019s judgment and accepting her decision.<\/p>\n
Huffington Post<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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