Category: Social

Most times it is the person that is viewed as the happiest outside that is the angriest behind closed doors.

Sometimes the only people who know your ins and outs are indeed families.

If you are dealing with an angry family member, these tips could be helpful:

– Acknowledge the anger, don’t try to downplay it or make excuses.

Parents excuse their children’s angry outbursts over the smallest things, either because they didn’t get the toy they wanted or because they cooked a meal they did not like.

This allows the child to grow up thinking that their anger is always excused, making them feel zero accountability for their actions.

Acknowledging these little angry tantrums will allow you to teach your child how to manage their issues.

– Trying to understand where the anger is coming from, is there a particular trigger?

Not all outbursts are for nothing, and that is where most of us go wrong in trying to correct children.

Anger is still a natural emotion but also a response mirroring others’ actions in different situations.

A person will mirror how others behave, typically these are people with whom we spend most of our time.

Parents, guardians, teachers, and others should be careful with how they express their anger around young people because that is most likely how they will handle familiar situations.

-Avoid getting into an argument, this only makes the situation worse.

Getting angry over someone else’s bad temper is not a new concept, and yes you are allowed to be however this does not make the other person less angry, it just results in a yelling match.

Try to be patient, take some time to yourself to calm down, go for a walk and try a relaxing activity or even a hardcore exercise to distract your mind.

Offer to help ease the situation and introduce them to prayer because there is just something about believing in a greater power that allows you to let go of your feelings and believe in the greater good.

The holidays can be challenging for anyone struggling with anger issues, their family, and friends, but remember to stay positive and patient, take time for yourself when needed, and above all, remember that you are not alone.

There are plenty of people who understand what you’re going through, and they want to help.

Keep in mind that learning to deal with your anger issues does not mean letting go of your beliefs or allowing others to step on you.

If they are unaware of how they make you feel they won’t change, and yes, some will get worse if you express how you feel but at least you did your part.

Expressing your emotions means finding a calm moment when the person you are going to talk to has eaten because hunger makes an angry person, and calmly but firmly expressing yourself with no shouting involved.

Share with them various alternatives to help them deal better with anger during the season

One way to reduce stress during the holiday season is to set realistic expectations for yourself.

This means not overbooking yourself with holiday parties or events and trying to do too much in a short amount of time.

It’s also important to plan as much as possible and delegate tasks so you’re not left feeling overwhelmed.

Another way to reduce tension is to take some time to yourself each day, even for just a few minutes doing something you enjoy, such as reading, listening to music, or taking a relaxing bath.

It’s also important to exercise regularly and eat a healthy diet, as this can help improve your mood and energy levels.

A piece of chocolate is okay once in a while as it allows the brain to feel happiness, bungee eats chocolate and your anger will be directed at your toothache.

A friend’s post about vacationing in Dubai and Argentina to celebrate Messi’s win can encourage you to spend all your savings or take a loan to have a luxurious post as well and you start experiencing Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO).

But if you have taken a vow to stay financially stable after all the celebrations this year, then you’re going to set a budget and stick to it.

Is there a reason why we keep thinking Christmas and the New Year are expensive or are our wants and Christmas lists expensive?

This is when the budget comes into play, and your budget will decide if you are going out with friends to celebrate.

Most of the time, all we need to feel encouraged to go out is money and free time, and sometimes our free time is a result of a lack of income but we choose to use the little we have to spend with people who most likely are not in the same predicament.

With a budget, you might find yourself saying a lot of no this season, but you’ll be the happiest in January, feeling comfortable with no debts hanging over your head due to festive spending.

Envy is going to be an enemy of your new saving habits, but keep in mind that not all that glitters is gold.

If it helps, spend less time on social media and engage more with your family.

Take a nap, go for a run, do activities that will make your mind distracted, and not focus on all the things that you might feel you are missing out on.

Because it’s easy to feel like you’re missing out on something if you’re not doing the same thing.

Don’t feel guilty enjoying the festivities, but in all be wise and important within your means this way, you’ll be able to enjoy the days after this season without any financial stress.

Protect your future finances, no matter what your net worth might be right now.

– This includes saving up for an emergency, such as losing your job or having unexpected medical bills.

It’s a little funny to think about, during the pandemic some people learned the power of savings and others learned to live in the moment.

The difference between these two is that one has learned to spend and the other has learned to save.

Both have their problems, and there is one that has taken savings to a whole new level, to the point of refusing to buy anything, including their undergarments.

And then there is someone spending on everything, at times this is the person who will gift an undergarment to the ones who save way too much.

– Invest in yourself: Take some time to learn new skills or take on side hustles that can help you make more money.

Rather than scrolling through looking for pictures of your friends on your socials, you can use this time to discover easy-to-learn skills that you can develop and get paid for.

Try a skill that can be anywhere in the world, language, computer skills, designing, writing, or more.

– Invest in long-term goals: If you’re thinking about buying a house or starting a family, start putting away money now so you’ll be prepared when the time comes.

If you are planning to have a family in the future, you have probably calculated and seen how expensive it will be, saving as much as you can allow you to buy land, and start building for your future family.

I have recently crossed paths with a man in his late twenties who is almost done with the building of his house.

With savings, a side job, and the earnings he gets from a motorcycle he bought, and hired a person to drive it and pay him monthly.

This taught me that small savings used right can buy things that can get us more savings.

Saving up for your future may not be as glamorous as going on fancy vacations, but it’s more financially secure.

Nonetheless, anger can also be an excuse we use for lashing out at the people we care about the most, unconsciously putting a strain on or destroying our relationships.

Anger can be triggered by various things. It might be work-related or an argument with a friend, or even a result of pent-up emotions that need to get out.

All it takes is a stressful day to trigger us, and the holidays can be especially difficult, with all the added stress of gift-buying, party planning, and family gatherings.

Particularly for parents with children at home, who are looking forward to Christmas celebrations.

Anger can become appealing to a stressed parent, making it their coping mechanism, so the children are too scared to complain or ask for anything.

Pay attention to these warning signs to know if you are one of the many people who struggle with anger during the holidays:

If you are quick to snap at family and friends, a trait that is caused by a lot of things but excused by a few, then there is a chance that you might be dealing with anger issues and typically people do not want to be that kind of attitude especially during the holiday.

{{1. Feeling overwhelmed and stressed by all the preparations that need to be done}}

If you are always the one that throws and decorates the parties or a perfectionist, a slight change or failure might trigger you.

{{2. Lack of excitement about Christmas or New Year’s celebrations like before}}

The loss of someone close and dear to you can cause a lot of sadness which can be masked by anger.

Disappointment in self can be a reason to dislike the holidays, as they might remind you of the things you did not accomplish that you had planned.

Even with all this stacked against you, there are helpful techniques for managing anger, such as deep breathing exercises, visualization, and positive self-talk.

Having anger issues during the Christmas and New Year holidays can be tough to handle, but with a few steps, you can start making a difference.

There’s the extra anxiety leading to random outbursts from spending more time with family and being in close approximation.

This is for a person who does not get along with their family and can be a trigger, especially when that particular relative comes along.

Or being part of a family whose family tradition involves yelling, fighting, and you having to most likely be the peacekeeper or referee in arguments.

And if you do not normally live or spend a lot of time with your family, going back home to spend the holidays with them can be a trigger.

Then there are all the triggers: from the decorations and music to the endless socializing which for introverts is not their ideal situation.

But even with all this, you don’t have to let your anger get the best of you. Consider these coping strategies and hope for a change:

-Take a break when you need it, if things get too tense, take some time for yourself to relax before bursting out in anger.

This is not an easy task, it requires you to consciously pay attention to different situations, people, and most of all, yourself, so you know when you need a time out before saying or doing something.

-Talk to someone about how you’re feeling, expressing yourself can help you deal with your emotions more healthily.

I know for a fact that when I am at a family function where I am not comfortable, I rely on my sister, to vent about what is bothering me and vice versa, and this reduces the risk of us jumping at that annoying person.

-Focus on the light in them even if there are things that bother you, zoom in on something to appreciate about them.

Much like how some were quick to start booing Ronaldo over his loss at the World Cup, some chose to remember him for his best matches.

It is in that same sense that we should look, really deeply at the people or situations we are in and try to think of their positive influence. This can be either from the past or how you think they will transform you in the future.

-Set boundaries with family members or traditions triggering your anger, let them be aware of the boundaries and the reason behind them, and if possible find a compromise that works for both of you.

Before we start cutting people out of our lives for our peace of mind, let us give them a chance to change.

Success is not exactly something that can be inherited, no matter how much a parent or guardian tries, without the skills and hard work of a child it will all be for nothing.

The sooner you teach your child how to work, find a hobby beyond watching television, the more chances you provide for them to find their way in the world.

Languages, playing musical instruments, IT or graphic design based skills and more like these are things that can get a young person clean money.

These are skills that most times do not require a degree, just a level of professionalism and creativity.

The more languages a person knows the more opportunities they are offered on the job market from a writer, a translator, a hospitality manager, a teacher, flight attendant, to a customer service representative and more.

Typically a child under 12-years of age is able to unconsciously grasp a language, from simply having it used frequently around him or her.

Children will mirror what they see and hear in their environment, even as adults a person who is being exposed to a new language without the aim of learning it being the underlying rule that governs it will have a head start.

Spending time around people who speak a totally different language than you, will be beneficial in your journey to learn a new language.

Teaching a child musical instruments is another great idea, music is one of the most beautiful things, it is something that will not cease to exist.

As a person with absolutely no rhythm, learning how to play a music instrument would have probably been beneficial.

Teaching a child to play a musical instrument enables them to learn about sounds, rhythm, melody, pitch, beat, while also stimulating the brain cells, and giving them an outlet for their creativity and their emotions.

This is something that can be taught to a child from the age of 3 to the age 7, making it as fun as possible, while having them understand the basics and fundamentals of music at an early age.

Being able to play one or multiple musical instruments will have a young person making more money than most graduates.

Being a typical student from Monday to Friday, and a musician by week-end in weddings, concerts and even church.

From this, a child can develop a love for music and grow up to become singer, a composer, a music teacher or even as far becoming a musical therapist, a person who uses music within therapeutic environment to help individuals of all ages who are experiencing emotional or mental health problems, or who have learning or physical disabilities or physical illnesses.

Another easy to learn and available skill for young children is IT and graphic design.

As an individual who had the pleasure of being taught computer skills by my own father at a young age, I know the advantage one can have over others either in class and in the workplace.

I was so interested in how my father was so invested in computers, trying to teach me how to type quicker, use Microsoft and general basic information about computers, that I started to spend hours on the computer learning other applications and software.

Before I was out of high school, I was getting paid because I had taught
myself to use Adobe software and making business cards, invitation cards and other editing videos.

I was not the only one in the family who was inspired to explore more of what the IT world offers, my oldest sister went into software engineering, the other is in university learning to become a web developer.

This goes to show the importance of sharing your skills with your children, especially at an early age because they will explore and if they decide to stick with what you showed them they will already have a head start.

Our mother from a very tender age taught us the value of learning different languages, knowing that we were not going to the schools that would teach us languages adequately. She made it her mission to get us to exercise with her.

Having been a teacher at some point in her life, she knew the best way to teach us, she concentrated on getting to sound out our words, the accents we were using, reading and writing as a professional.

She did not allow the ‘i didn’t’ it was always ‘i did not’, which later in life turned out to be useful.

She believed that a person learning a language should immerse completely in the language, so depending on the language she was teaching in that period, our television shows, music and books would be based on that.

We were given the right to choose whatever careers we wanted, and some of my siblings did choose careers aside from things that are computer related. One of my sisters is currently learning psychology.

It is good and it can be fun to share your interests with your children. You never know just how important you can inspire them while making them young professionals.

With this promise of a brighter future, the excitement to travel and gain new experiences, meet new people, all this can look good until you actually start living this life.

The reality is that a person’s responsibilities increase, and the individual is required to mature fast to be able to handle the new changes in their life, or suffer the consequences.

With the influence of social media, living abroad can look enticing, and exciting.

The different people and places, the various means of transportation, the new culture, and more can make it look as though the people studying abroad are living their best life.

However, there are a number of posts, blogs that contradict this glamorous life.

Language barrier is the first concern for anyone moving to a foreign country.

A person can take between three months to two years to be able to speak, understand and write a language.

We don’t all have the same capacity to learn, especially when it comes to languages, it is easier for some than others.

It would be ideal to find yourself studying in a place where you already know the language, but that is not a luxury that we can all have.

At times even when you already know the language, but the accent is different and still face the same problem of miscommunication and being regarded as a stranger.

Jayne Tuyisiime is a student from Uganda pursuing studies at Mount Kenya University Rwanda .

Tuyisiime says that even after three years of living in Rwanda, she still struggles with writing in Kinyarwanda but is more confident to speak it.

She tells IGIHE, that when she came to Rwanda, she could comprehend only a few words.

Tuyisiime continues to say that people who heard her speak in Kinyarwanda would assume she was fluent and would try to have friendly conversations with her, to which she would neither understand nor be able to respond to.

“People would try to talk to me and when I did not respond they would think I was ignoring them and consider me arrogant,” says Tuyisiime.

After a year and a half of struggling with the language, with the help of her colleague, friends and neighbors; Tuyisiime is now able to form complete sentences in Kinyarwanda confidently.

Most of the young people studying abroad will tell you that once the excitement wears off and you start looking at your new reality, life starts looking terrifying and you start missing home.

Depression and anxiety are some of the things that can occur during these new life changes, these are the results of homesickness, culture shock and more.

Feeling like a failure anytime they encounter a challenge in class or with their classmates and lecturers especially they start comparing the education system they are in versus the one from their home country.

Some people will feel guilty anytime they remember the amount of money their parents or guardians spent to send them abroad.

This can make them develop a sense of unworthiness and rob them of the ability of dealing with failure, and instead have them beating themselves up anytime they encounter a setback in life.

Without parents or guardians checking on you every 24/7, an individual decides how to spend their days.

We do not deal with the pressures of life at the same speed or in the same way, some will work hard and for some it is easier to give in to defeat and find other ways to deal with the changes.

Ishimwe Wilson is a young Rwandan, currently studying in Poland.

His parents sent him to study in Poland, so he could learn to take care of himself and be more responsible financially and learn how to manage his time.

Ishimwe says that when he was living with his parents, all he had to do was eat, shower, study and sleep but now that is only the beginning of the rest of his day.

During a conversation via Whatsapp, he tells IGIHE that he now learnt to do his own cooking, an activity that was once alien to him but is now one of his favorites.

He learnt to wash and iron his clothes, make time to go to class and keep up with a system he is not used to.

Ishimwe says, he does all this while keeping track of how he uses the allowance his parents send.

This has however encouraged him to find work and make extra money and reduce the amount his parents would usually give him per month.

With over 5 thousand followers on one of his social media accounts, Ishimwe holds that glamorous international student life.

Various locations, a new outfit with every post, giving off an image that he is always out and about having fun which is not completely wrong but he also purposely dismisses the pictures of him waking up at 5 in the morning to get himself ready and catch the bus on time.

Most of us go by people’s social media and assume that the life portrayed in posts is reality.

Ishimwe and Jayne had a few things in common. They are grateful that their parents trusted them enough to send them alone to foreign countries.

They seem to be more confident in the different languages commonly used in the countries they are living in.

They have learnt how to deal with people, start a new life, and make a home away from home.

There are different reasons why your partner does not pay attention when they sit down but look more attentive and present when they are out and about.

Perhaps you want to lead an active lifestyle, and you want to incorporate that in your dates but you find yourself thinking of only gyms and walks.

There are a lot more different activities that will keep the blood flowing, your heart beating and I mean beat for more than your partner.

{{Hiking}}

What better way is there to know someone than when they are sweating, panting for air, and gulping water?

A date idea that will have you feeling a lot more than butterflies.

Hiking offers psychological benefits, making a person feel relaxed and enhances their well-being.

Hiking will allow a couple to explore, make memories without distractions, play around and chase each other and stay in the moment.

This is an activity that will shine a light on each of your strengths and weaknesses.

Some will fall and not get up while others will allow themselves a short break and get up again.

A couple will need to check on each other and pull one another when left behind and develop patience for each other.

Subtracting the stress of planning a date or even getting ready for a date, this activity only requires a little research to find a good location that is safe, and in this case, the perfect outfit happens to be your most comfortable clothes and comfortable sneakers.

Hiking is not for couples of a certain age, as long we know our limits, and push ourselves overboard.

You can plan and pack for a nice little romantic picnic after the hike.

This can become a good habit that could be passed down to young children.

With this activity, pay attention to how you speak to your partner and vice versa because we deal with exhaustion in different ways. However, that does not excuse someone being harsh to another or trying to push you beyond your limits just to prove yourself.

On a hike, you will meet different people, how you introduce your partner is something to take into account.

Plus making sure that when you meet new people you don’t ignore your partner.

{{Photography}}

This date idea can also be as simple as hiring a professional photographer and finding a location that will be suitable for your photos.

This can be a relaxing activity, a great time to show off your creative side to each other or develop a new skill together.

A great time to play around and try different poses with your date, it is better to get a photographer with a visual eye.

Give your photos a theme, it can be an era, a holiday or of people you admire.

Taking pictures can create one of the most exciting and creative dates, there is an alternative way to plan for this day.

You can rent a camera if you don’t already own one, and go outside and capture the moments in pictures.

This can work during the day or even at night which might be a bit more tricky but would still be an option depending on the equipment and skills.

{{Paint and Sip}}

This has quickly become a popular activity, all over social media there are various places hosting these activities.

Free your inner child and allow yourself to let loose and get a little dirty with the paint.

From your paintings you can learn a lot from them if you pay attention, is their painting dark or light?

Painting allows a person to scream out who they are without the use of their words.

This allows a person to deal with their feelings by giving them a physical shape, removing the anguish involved when keeping feelings hidden.

Art therapy is one of the activities prescribed by psychologists for patients who suffered psychological trauma, since it allows an individual to express their emotions in a non-threatening environment.

You can paint while taking a sip of a nice glass of wine, a soft drink of your choice or whatever you feel will quench your thirst.

Cheers to your inner child being acknowledged and getting to know more about date.

{{Horseback Riding}}

A nature and animal lover will love this adventure and will appreciate that you had them in mind when you were planning this date.

Plus there is nothing that shows how much someone cares than seeing the amount of planning they put in to make a date memorable.

Not only is this a fun idea, but it also counts as moderately intense exercise which is good for you physically and emotionally.

It will have your core muscles including your abs, back, pelvis and thighs working.

Unless your date is allergic, doesn’t like horses or simply scared of horses, horseback riding is a perfect date.

Better than sitting in a coffee shop and being awkward perhaps because this is your first date and you don’t know what to talk about.

A perfect date will include a good laugh, your partners hearing you, and this is exactly the experience you get when horseback riding.

Sharing a laugh and having your partner hear you while learning how to horseback ride or when you are trails looking at the surroundings and nature around you with no distractions.

This is an activity that will produce happy hormones, elevated mood and more energy.

You can plan for a picnic after the ride, and have time to have deeper conversations or just laugh about the experience.

With horseback riding, your body will release hormones that will help make your body an unforgettable experience.

And even if the relationship doesn’t work and you end the date as only friends at least you tried something new and your date will remember you as a thoughtful person.

{{Quad bike ride}}

If you are looking for more adrenaline, try these huge tires and race with your date.

Get way too close with nature especially because dirt, mud and other objects might reach your face.

Activities in the gym might seem a little too hard to do, but with doing things such as quad biking, people will feel a lot more motivated better than if they were jogging or doing normal exercises.

It will still improve blood circulation, help in controlling obesity, and enhance insulin sensitivity and maintain muscle mass and prevent a lot of other health risk factors.

This is a date idea you can try with a Rwandan resident or a foreign especially because it will allow you to explore different places in style.

No stress, this is the perfect date to connect with nature whether in water, dirt, mud and live that over the edge lifestyle.

A comfortable outfit, some protective gear depending on the area and a permit if you are in Rwanda.

This Sunday evening, I went with my cousin and a friend to an event about poetry and music where several artists were performing. As we had to go home at any moment, we did not order drinks but others around us had them and most were having alcoholic drinks.

Despite the assumption that “a little wine” might be needed to wind down and have a good time, we were able to have fun without it and pretty much carried the event with the cheering and singing along, which led me and my companions to ask ourselves, was it that we had good vibes as the lingo goes these days? Or is there something the
others were missing?

So, the next time you go out, it may be something to observe, because good music (or any performance) and good friends alone can make it worthwhile. Don’t knock it till you try it out! Get out of your comfort zone of needing a drink to ‘party’ and see if it makes a difference.

Careers such as social worker, and some other related fields were unheard of by some of us because they were unpopular, and honestly even now, there are a few people who do not know who a social worker is.

I discovered this career in the recent years, when I heard my friend say that she wanted it as a career and my confusion was clear but at least it made her laugh.

Gloria Aronah, a social worker who is currently working with young children as an educator, explained what she does and what her career entails.

A social worker is a professional and academic discipline for the pursuit of social change, social justice and social welfare.

With their qualification they can work in a school, a hospital, mental health centre, home health agencies, or nursing homes.

“It is unfortunate that people still think that a social worker only works in children organizations, or specific organizations,” says Aronah.

This is a stereotype with the career of a social worker, because social workers can work in any setting as long as they are providing social change or social welfare.

Not a lot of people are well informed about the value of a social worker which puts a limit to job opportunities of social workers.

If hired by someone or institution that understands the value of the social worker, the pay is very good.

Sympathy, a drive for social change, valuing the importance of human relationships, and knowing the worth of a human being are some of the qualities that make a great social worker.

There are schools, and courses that help grow a professional social worker but we still need different institutions; prisons, schools, and other places to make a place for social workers to make space for them.

Instead of officially breaking up with someone during this season, they do what I like to call a ‘mental breakup’, which includes ignoring your texts, calls or invites for a long period of time.

Anna Ihogoza, is a young girl who has experienced this ‘mental breakup’ around this time in 2021. She says that it was among the most hurtful memories since she did not know she was single for two months.

“He ignored me for months, I texted, called but my efforts ended to no avail. I knew he had seasonal depression so I just assumed he was depressed and needed some time,” recounts Ihogoza.

Two days before Christmas, she bumped into his sister as she was shopping. She said that her brother was doing great, even happy. At that moment, the puzzles started to put themselves in place.

Ihogoza refused to jump to any conclusion, so she decided to ask him what was going on soon since they’d go to the same church for Christmas.

What she did not count on was that he would also ignore her the whole time.

Anytime she tried to get his attention, he would cut her off and go talk to other people.

Ihogoza’s family had planned to go out, but she was miserable the whole time they were out.

“Now I look at the pictures of that day and all I can see is the sadness, my hand on my cheek, misery in my eyes and a perfectly good family moment ruined,” she says.

“He broke up with me three days after Christmas, after I had begged him to meet up so we could talk, something he could have done two months before and saved my tears,” adds Ihogoza.

There are different reasons a person might feel the need to want a breakup during the holiday.

Receiving texts, or calls from people we never expected, which in one or another makes us feel extra special because we start thinking we can do better than our current partners.

Another reason for this might be the 10% over 90% rule, looking at other people and seeing the 10% quality that your partner does not have and ignoring the ninety that he/she already has.

If your new love interest or the person courting you is buying you gifts, taking you out, they listen to you, and care for you.

A fear of commitment also comes into play, the thought of starting a year with the same person.

The knowledge that the relationship might have to take another step can be a major reason that would make a person to break up.

Sometimes, it is for the best to break up in cases where the relationship does not meet your needs.

If it is dysfunctional, or abusive; either physically, mentally or emotionally and sometimes people just want to grow as people, including their careers.

Gloria Aronah, a trauma healing counselor advises couples to really think about their decision.

This is to avoid the ‘sorry, can we get back together?’ texts after the holidays.

“At the end of the day, it is your relationship no one should tell you whether you should break up or stay together,” says Aronah.

She explains that if a person feels ready to end the relationship, they should not be stopped by the season because the rest might turn into traumas that are expensive and time consuming to heal.

In the case of Anna, her boyfriend told her directly when he was ready to break up with her.

Or had she accepted the hints, she would have probably suffered a little less and probably enjoyed her Christmas a little more.

Break-ups hurt no matter what time of the year it is, we cannot control that.

We can however control how we break-up with someone, with honesty and sympathy.

Avoid manipulation tactics, do not act-out, ignoring their texts and calls in hopes that your partner will get tired and decide to leave you.

Be straightforward, not rude; treat your partner how you would want to be treated, remember that they’ll be vulnerable and they will most likely take what you say to heart.

Besides, a face to face conversation is always better than a text message. No matter how nice the text is, it means more that you take time out of your schedule and tell your partner in person how you feel.

Schools from primary to higher education should have psychologists not only to assist students but also teachers and other staff members because one’s behaviour can affect the entire community.

Besides, a school is a place where most people discover themselves; get their abilities, their talents developed, learn to be competitive and create relationships with new people.

Spending time at school, can be a wonderful experience for some students while others dread the entire day from the moment they wake up until they return home.

A senior 3 student who spoke to us recently, narrated awful experiences he went through over being around people with whom he could not easily socialize.

“I tried day school, I tried boarding school but none of those options helped me get over the anxiety I had every time I went to school,” he said.

As he says, parents did not hear his concerns and called it laziness whenever he put forward his case.

“My parents would call me lazy, but I was not lazy. I did not feel like I fit in school, not with my classmates. I felt like every teacher was out to get me and I concentrated on that so much that studying was hard for me,” he said.

The young man says that he was able to focus on his studies and felt more confident only after his sister found him a therapist who walked him through what he was feeling.

Some give up on schools not because they are failing in school but because they are unable to handle everything else that comes with it. Most of the time, they will get judged and taunted to go back to school.

To find a durable solution, it is also important to consider the mental health of a teacher, professor or lecturer.

Most of the time, we forget that they are humans too, to avoid or reduce the stress that comes from their personal, mixed with their professional life especially if they are in the classroom. This is where a psychologist gets involved in this situation to direct the educator on how to handle it, so it does not control the way they deal with the students.

Psychologists are not only involved in psychology or therapy but are also trained to assess and conduct formal psychological tests.

According to trainee psychologist, Atheane Faye; having psychologists at schools would be of great significance to schools however expensive it is to provide counseling, trauma or grief support.

“Often in Africa, there are a lot of financial restrictions. People do not have enough money. However, if the child is able to get this as a service offered by the school, it can make such a huge difference in the child’s life because this can be the only time that child will ever have access to a psychologist,” she said.