Category: Social

{Marriage is a wonderful thing to experience, but sometimes, it’s often made out to be something so perfect without challenges, and that is not true. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage, there’ll always be one challenge or another to face the moment you embark on that journey, and unless you’re prepared for it by getting in the right frame of mind, and knowing the basics of relationship and marriage, you’ll not be able to handle those challenges when they come because you’ll be taken unawares.}

So it is a matter of importance that you know the following before you get married.

1. You must know that there’s no such thing as a perfect marriage. No marriage is without its own flaws, no matter how little. However, your own marriage can be successful if you want it to be. You must be willing to make sacrifices, forgive, understand, tolerate and coexist with you partner in order for you to have a good marriage.

2. It takes two to tango. Marriage, like anything involving more than one person requires joint efforts from all involved for it to be successful. You and your partner must work together to stay together. Let him/her be your partner in everything, not just in bed. Share everything, discuss everything and always keep each other in the loop regarding whatever concerns either of you. No marriage can work without concerted efforts from the man and the woman.

3. Keep your marriage away from your friends. Not a bad thing to keep friends as a married person, but you must know the manner of things you discuss with them. Keep all topics relating to your spouse and marriage away from them — sometimes, those who you regard as your ‘friends’ are nothing but foes waiting to bring you down and see you unhappy, and other times, they could give you wrong advice that wouldn’t augur well for your relationship.

4. People change. Just because your partner was calm and sweet before marriage is no guarantee that they’ll stay that way all their life; so you must be prepared for any possibility. Everyone has a bad side to them; you can only wish that they do not have to expose that part.

5. Wife-beaters are not made in a day, they usually start from somewhere. If your man shows signs of violence more than once before marriage, he’s most likely to be an incorrigible wife-beater even after marriage.

6. In the same vein, cheaters are not made in one day, they also start from somewhere. If your partner cheats on you even once before marriage, and you go ahead to marry him, be prepared for constant heartbreak. Old habits die hard.

7. Nobody wants to be in a marriage where there’s little money and material gains to be enjoyed, but that doesn’t mean that you should marry for money. People who marry for money instead of love are usually miserable for as long as they’re in that marriage.

8. Marry for love; marry someone you love so much, but never marry someone who doesn’t love you as much as you do them because you’ll never be valued in that marriage.

9. Cheating does not have anything to do with love, it’s just an action born out of a moment of lust and immaturity. A man/woman can love you and still cheat on you.

10. You must protect your marriage. Just because you got lucky enough to be married to them does not mean that other people would not want to have a piece of what you’re enjoying. There’ll always be one man/ woman out there trying to put your marriage asunder, and they’ll do anything to realise that objective, therefore, you must continuously strive to keep your marriage together by doing everything you can to please and keep your partner happy. Look good for them, love them, compliment them, tease them, spoil them, give them attention, and treat them as if you just met them. That is the only way your marriage will continue to feel fresh and survive.

{Everyone loves to be appreciated for everything they do and in everything they do — in our jobs, family, relationships and in the society at large.}

We all want to be acknowledged and appreciated for every good deed we do, but this wouldn’t always happen, and that’s a harsh reality of life.

There are some ways you can actually handle this feeling of not being appreciated.

{{1. LET IT BE A LEARNING PROCESS}}

Working without being appreciated can be seen as a learning process. As ironical as it sounds, you would learn to do good things without actually waiting for rewards and acknowledgment and you would also learn to be tolerating and as well patient. Having this attitude would give you a gritty attitude that would help you later in life.

{{2. DO IT FOR YOURSELF
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When you have the mentality that you are doing something for your team, your partner, family or someone else then it could demoralising and hard when they don’t appreciate it. But when you have the mentality that you are doing it for yourself then you make it easier for yourself and you would care less whether you are appreciated or not.
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3. CELEBRATE YOURSELF}}

If people aren’t going to be grateful for what you do for them then celebrate yourself for what you actually do for others. If no one would acknowledge your efforts, there is nothing wrong in acknowledging your efforts.
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4. REMEMBER THAT PEOPLE GET USED TO GOOD DEEDS}}

Give someone money and they would highly appreciate it for the first time; when you keep giving that same person money everyday, he might get used to it and take your efforts for granted — this is a typical fact of life. As hard as it sounds, you should see it as a strength not a weakness when people get used to your good deeds.
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5. APPRECIATE OTHERS}}

Almost everyone on earth has that habit of taking things for granted and overlooking the simple things that are done for them. It’s better to teach people how to appreciate, not with your words but your actions. Appreciate others for the little things they do for you, and by this you teach them with an exemplary lifestyle.

It’s really difficult to cope when you are not being appreciated, but this tip would help you overcome that feeling of not being appreciated.

{Why wait for a new year to make your life better? My problem with many new year resolutions is that they are mostly short-term and many forget their resolutions by February 1st.
}

Below are 6 things to do if you want to have a good year

{{1. DECIDE WHERE YOU WANT TO BE}}

Congrats, you made it to this year but there are important things you should do if you want a better year. You have to decide where you want to be a year from now if you want to have a good year. You can’t have an outstanding year if you don’t first decide where you want to be.
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2. FIGURE OUT HOW TO ACHIEVE YOUR TARGETS FOR THE YEAR}}

It’s okay deciding where you want to be a year from now but you wouldn’t achieve that if you don’t figure out how to achieve your targets. If your target this year is to lose weight and get in shape, you have to figure out how you have to achieve this which would include finding out the type of diet and exercise you need.
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3. HAVE A PLAN}}

Saying you are going to lose weight this year isn’t a plan. The steps you need to take to achieve your weight lose is the plan. By having steps, you give yourself daily set targets that would help you achieve your long-term target for the year. So if you desire to lose weight and get into shape a year from now, jogging for 30 minutes every morning is a concrete plan to have.
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4. HAVE SET GOALS AND MILESTONES}}

Having set goals and milestones would help you achieve your long-term targets. You need goals to measure your progress. If your weekly goal is losing 5 kg, it becomes easy to measure your progress. If you don’t lose up to 5 kg any week, you know you need to work even harder. Having set goals gives you even more motivation at each checkpoint.
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5. SHARE WHAT YOU ARE DOING WITH LOVED ONES}}

The importance of sharing what you hope to achieve with loved ones is that it helps you become accountable. Sharing your plans with your loved will help keep you in check as it motivates you not to let your loved ones down and also yourself. Sharing with your loved ones means they would encourage you to stay motivated and continue on your path to success.
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6. SET OUT TODAY TO BEGIN ACCOMPLISHING YOUR GOALS}}

You don’t have to wait till January 1st to make changes to your life. You should start today and not wait till tomorrow. If you want to make a change in your life, make a decision to start today. Today is always the best day to make a change.

{We all have at one time or the other fallen in love deeply, but do you really know some facts about love and relationship?}

Sit back and relax as I thrill you with some facts about love and relationships.

1. Statistically, men are quicker than women to say “I love you” in relationships and studies have shown that men are more emotionally affected when the relationship ends.

2. Studies show that before a man even speaks a word, the way he stands counts for over 80% of the woman’s first impression.

3. Nearly 40% of men do not feel confident meeting a woman for the first time.

4. You’re most likely to fall in love with someone if you first meet them in a dangerous situation.

5. Looking into each others’ eyes can make strangers fall in love. Research has shown that when people gaze at each other, their bodies produce a chemical called phenylethylamine, which is associated with the fight-or-flight response.

6. According to researchers from University of Pennsylvania, most people make a decision regarding a person’s attraction within three seconds of meeting.

7. The most common time for breakups is around three to five months.

8. According to researchers, being in love could make you overlook flaws in the other person.

9. Research has found that couples in good relationships tend to be healthier and happier.

10. Research has also found that love can make things sweeter. According to a study, people who were thinking about love said a specific kind of food was sweeter than those thinking about jealousy or something neutral.

11. When a man first approaches a woman, she will base 55% of her initial impression of him on his appearance and body language, 38% on his style of speaking, and 7% on what he actually says.

12. If a woman is interested in her date, she will often smile at his jokes, play with her hair, fidget with an object such as a glass, blush when he pays her a compliment, pout her mouth, stumble over words, or lean in towards him. However, when she isn’t, she would avoid eye contact, fake a smile or not smile, lean away, answer in monosyllables, sag her shoulders, look at her watch, tap her foot, or stare blankly.

13. Beautiful women typically get more stares, winks and harassment than average-looking women do, but they are also less likely to get asked out by average-looking men because those men tend to be intimated by them.

{Setting certain things in order before getting married would make your marriage better. There are some things couples should do before getting married; it would help set their marriage in the right direction.}

Below are certain things couples ought to do before getting married.

{{1. DISCUSS THEIR EXPECTATIONS OF THE MARRIAGE}}

Marriage is usually between two different people who have spent a bulk of their lives apart and could probably have different mentality and expectations. When they discuss their expectations of the marriage, it would help give them an understanding of what they want individually and collectively — and this would help the marriage in the long-term.

{{2. DISCUSS YOUR PERSONAL GOALS}}

This is another important thing to do before getting married to your partner. A lot of the times, many couple get married without really knowing the other partner’s personal goal. It’s even worse when the husband stops the wife from working so she can take care of the family, or the wife complains bitterly about the nature of the man’s job that gives him less time for the family.

When you discuss your personal goals with each other and what it would take to achieve them, it’s easier to create an understanding and strike out a way to help balance things out.

{{3. KNOW EACH OTHER’S FAMILY}}

Like they say, marriage isn’t only between individuals but families as well. Couples ought to spend time with each other’s families — this would even help create a bond between both families, and of course, the marriage would benefit from this.

Also, you would understand your partner better when you spend time with their family; this would give you a deeper knowledge of your partner’s mentality, behaviour and mode of doing things.
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4. SHARE SECRETS}}

Some secrets could jeopardise the marriage when it’s known at a later date. Any secret that your partner ought to know should be told before marriage. When couples do this, they even build trust among each other without knowing.

{{5. SPEND TIME WITH EACH OTHER}}

Of course you have to spend time with each; this is non-negotiable. When you spend time with each other, you learn more about each other and know how to make each other happy. It’s important to start the learning culture before marriage than when you are married.

{{6. BUILD FRIENDSHIPS }}

The fact that you are married doesn’t really mean you throw away all your friends. Friends are an important part our lives. If you and your partner can learn to build a circle of friends then it would help provide stability to your marriage and as well happiness.

{{7. HAVE A FINANCIAL PLAN / GOAL}}

Finance is an important part of everything, marriage included. It’s important for couples to have knowledge on each other’s stance on money. Don’t be shy to reveal your financial weakness as well; it would be okay if your partner knows now than later.

When couples have a financial plan / goals even before they get married, it would put less pressure on them when they are eventually married.
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8. LEARN HOW TO HANDLE ISSUES}}

Issues usually come up when you are married, but the difference between a successful and unsuccessful marriage lies in how they handle issues. It’s never too early to learn how to solve problems and handle issues; it would help make your marriage quarrel proof.

{{9. LEARN WHAT YOU CAN AND CANNOT TOLERATE

If you have what you cannot tolerate in a marriage, it’s unfair to tell your partner when you are already married than before getting married. Couples should aim to know what they can and cannot tolerate before getting married. This would help keep partners in check so they don’t go out of line.

When you do these nine things before getting married to your partner, it would help set a solid foundation for a successful marriage.

Source:Elcrema:[9 THINGS EVERY COUPLE SHOULD DO BEFORE GETTING MARRIED->http://www.elcrema.com/2016/01/06/9-things-every-couple-should-do-before-getting-married/3/]