Category: Social

{How do you feel about your relationship? Do you think you know where your relationship is headed or you have no clue about the direction of your relationship?}

Below are 5 signs your relationship has no future

{{1. Your partner makes no effort to make the relationship work }}

For a relationship to work, both partners need to put work into the relationship.A relationship where it’s just you trying to make the relationship work and your partner doesn’t care enough to meet you halfway has no future. So if your partner isn’t putting in an equal amount of effort into the relationship, your relationship has no future.

{{2. No trust }}

A relationship without trust is a relationship with no future. Trust is the foundation every solid relationship is built on so if you partner can’t trust you no matter how hard you try to win your partner’s trust, you need to understand you are better off leaving that relationship because your relationship has no future.

{{3. Your partner doesn’t accept you for who you are }}

We all have our good traits and bad traits. If you are in a relationship that has a future, your partner will accept all of your flaws. Your partner doesn’t have to like everything you like but your partner should accept the fact you love what you like without trying to judge you. So if your partner doesn’t accept who you really are, it’s time to quit that relationship because your relationship has no future.

{{4. Your needs are not met }}

If you feel your partner do not meet your needs, it’s time to quit that relationship because that relationship has no future. You deserve your partner’s care and attention and if these needs are not met, you are probably wasting your time in that relationship.

{{5. You are not in the same boat with your partner }}

Your relationship has no future if you are not in the same boat with your partner. If you feel you are ready to settle down and start a family and your partner feels settling down isn’t a priority for him/her, you will definitely encounter problems in your relationship. When you are in a relationship that has a future, you and your partner will be in the same boat.

{Shawn previously worked on 10 things women should know about men, and like they say “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander”; so I had to do it the other way round; after all, women have feelings too.}

Women have the way they feel about certain things, they react differently too and they are special in a very different way.

Like a male friend of mine would always say “if you want your relationship to be happy, make your lady happy”. And this is so true, when the woman is happy, everyone else would be happy.

So men need to know certain things about women, and they just might have a wonderful relationship.

Continue reading below as I bring ten things men should know about women

{{1. We love special treatment }}

I don’t think any lady out there would want to be treated otherwise; we love it when we are special and treated as such by our man. Treating us as special just sends a message to us that you value us, and sometimes that’s all we need. When our man treats us as special, we feel on top of the world

{{2. Special doesn’t only mean the bedroom }}

By special, we don’t mean just in the bedroom or on the couch or just when we are alone; no. We love to be shown care both outside and inside; treat us like we mean everything to you even when you are with your family, when you are with friends, and when the neighbours are watching. If you do this to your lady and she doesn’t reciprocate then she doesn’t deserve you.

{{3. The fact we love you doesn’t mean you should take us for granted }}

I wonder why men do this sometimes; when a lady shows that she overly loves a man, he gets used to it and takes it for granted. This is so wrong; we show that we deeply care so that you would treat us like you love us. No lady would want to give out her heart and be given rag treatment in return; one day she might just get tired and leave; and it might just be too late.

{{4. We hate when you think we disturb }}

Men sometimes just have this ill-fated notion that women could sometimes be disturbing. We know football time is football time but that doesn’t mean you would totally forget about us; we could sometimes be a pain in the butt, but that’s why we chose to be your favourite lady, and if you can’t handle our excesses then the relationship would never go anywhere.

{{5. If you’ve cheated in the past, trusting you might take almost eternity }}

Forgiveness and trust are two different things. The fact that we might have forgiven you for cheating doesn’t mean you would gain our trust that easy; that would take a very long time. Cheating hurts and we hate it; cheating is just another way of saying you don’t see us as satisfying – truth be told.

{{6. We always love your compliments }}

Your compliment means a lot to us; after all if you don’t compliment us, who should? Sometimes a woman dresses good just to make her man proud and happy, and if he doesn’t compliments, it feels like time wasted. The compliments of our man means more than a thousand compliments from outsiders; but when we don’t get the compliment from you, we might start to value that of outsiders.

{{7. We love getting all the attention}}

We love it when we get the attention of our man. Sometimes all a lady just needs is the attention of her man. When her man gives a lady all the attention she needs, it makes her feel special.

{{8. Look good for us }}

We love to take pride in you too; most times, men talk more about women dressing well and looking sexy forgetting that women also love it when men look good. We love to take pride in our man; that means you should also look good for our sake.

{{9. When you say you love us,mean it }}

Don’t just say you love us to make us happy, that’s trickery. Say you love us because you actually love us, and it has to be just us. Don’t tell us you love us when you have also told a hundred other ladies out there, it counts for nothing; you have to be serious about it; it’s either them or just we alone; set your priorities.

{{10. We get jealous because we care }}

We get jealous because we actually do care about you; so stop complaining that we get jealous too easily; rather start complaining when we stop getting jealous. The truth is if we don’t care about you, we would never feel jealous.

Every lady out there wants a good relationship with her man. Every lady wants to be treated with respect, love and care. Ladies aren’t machines that are just created to show love; we want to be loved in return.

Hope you had a good time reading this, and I’m pretty much sure I spoke the minds of most ladies.

{For a lady to have a successful relationship she ought to know how a man thinks, how he sees things and his ideology in general; most importantly she ought to know how a man feels.}

When a lady is clueless about the way a man feels, she definitely wouldn’t be the better half that she ought to be as she would keep making mistakes upon mistakes

I have ten things every lady should actually know about men; and trust me when I say they are important.

{{ 1. Men also believe in love }}

There is this belief around town that men are strong hearted and men don’t love and all that. Honestly, that really is just one of those lies aimed at making the male gender look so super tough. The truth be told, men also want to love and be loved in return; however, they aren’t so secure about opening their heart, but if they meet that lady that can drive them crazy, they would be ready to do anything for her.

Forget all the movies, rap songs and rumours; men also secretly believe in love.

{{2. Men also love compliments }}

Show me a lady that knows how to compliment a man, and I would show you a lady that has the key to her man’s heart. Men love when they are complimented too; it just brings this special feeling that his lady takes notice of him and appreciates him as well.

{{3. Sex always mean a lot }}

No matter how much he says sex isn’t important, he knows deep within that it is. It’s not that he doesn’t care about his lady or that he prefers having sex over her, but sex is just a big part of a man’s life. He tries not to make this obvious but he knows deep within that he doesn’t just want sex but he needs it.

{{4. Men love when their ladies are super cool }}

There is this unspoken bragging right among men when they have a super cool lady. Notice the difference between a man dating a very pretty lady and an average lady; the man with the pretty lady somehow wants everyone to know that he’s her man. It’s just a male ego thing and nothing more.

{{5. A lady that can cook is always a plus }}

Forget all the gimmicks; if you can cook then it’s definitely a plus. Men love it when a lady can cook up things that would take his nostrils to wonderland. I think every man would definitely appreciate a woman who’s a good cook; ladies that are good chefs have a way of leaving a lasting memory in a man’s heart. Women sometimes say that the road to a man’s heart is sometimes through his belly.

{{6. Men get jealous too }}

Even if he tries not to show it, men sometimes get jealous when a lady gives him even 5% chance of suspecting anything; not that he doesn’t trust his lady, but he doesn’t trust the other man. Men have a way of not trusting their other men, so when he notices a kind of fondness with another man, he feels slightly jealous, even though he tries not to show it.

{{7. Men are two faced about an independent woman }}

The modern man truly loves an independent woman; only the old-fashioned man would prefer a woman that would depend on him for everything. However, even the modern man would somehow get uncomfortable when his independent lady is overly independent. Men love when they are the man and if his lady needs him for totally nothing, it somehow rubs him off that ‘man’ feeling.

{{8. His friends are a bid part of his life}}

A man’s buddies are like his brothers; they are a big part of him. Some ladies in a relationship love all the attention that they would prefer if a man has little or no time for his friends. A man’s friends are more than friends to him, and life without them would be boring to him, but that doesn’t mean you are any less important to him. He would appreciate you more if you can understand his friend’s role in his life.

{{9. Just tell him what you want }}

Men live a straight forward life; they prefer when things are done directly with no hitches but the female gender is like the direct opposite. All those sulking and all that ladies do sometimes get to him; even when he’s doing the pampering and petting, he would actually prefer if you could just tell him what the problem is and then move on.

{{10. Take pride in him }}

Some women take pride in their man, and this gives men a feeling which they just can’t explain. When a lady takes pride in her man, it makes him feel ultra-special, and he would want to even do much more for this kind of lady. Ladies want their man to take pride in them but they forget that men also have feelings, and feeling of being valued and appreciated is one of them.

I planned writing on ten things, but who said a bonus is a bad idea? Women love it when their man is romantic, but not all men know how to be romantic. Some even try as hard to be romantic, but it doesn’t just work well for him.I think ladies should know that the unromantic man who’s trying to be romantic really does care a lot about her; maybe she should even help him out and spice up his ‘romantic’ style, and he would appreciate even the more.

Not all men are the same, to be honest; but I think this would most definitely go with almost all men.

{Sex is just a three letter word but it’s one word that is given more attention than the longest word in the dictionary. Interestingly, there are some facts that you probably didn’t know about sex; you might be a master in the act but you surely don’t know about the fact.}

People take sex so seriously that they only focus on the act and anything other than that doesn’t really seem important. Like almost all teachers would say “knowledge is never a waste”, so I would share with you some interesting facts you probably never knew about sex.

{{1. Fat men last way longer than thin men }}

So much has been said of fat men and how tiny their organs are and how lazy they are; there are always words for fat men. Study has it that fat men last over three times longer than the average slim man. A Turkish study in 2010 took into consideration the performances of men for over a year; it was noted that fat men lasted on an average of just over 7 minutes while the slimmer men lasted an average of just over a minute.

{{2. Loss of virginity }}

An estimate by the Kinsey institute estimates that boys have sex for the first time at an average of 17.4 years while for the girls, they lose their virginity at an average of 16.9 years.

{{3. Not so easy pee }}

Ever noticed how hard it sometimes is to pee just after having sex? Well, the body releases an antidiuretic hormone after you orgasm making it a little difficult to urinate just after having sex.

{{4. Men are more likely to help women women with big breasts }}

Men sometimes admit that they prefer a lady with an average breast size than the mountainous ones but this study says otherwise.

A research found out that a waitress with usually bigger boobs gets more tips than the less generous breasted ladies; the bigger the boobs the more tips she gets regardless of her looks.

Another French study also had something to prove; in 2007, French researchers took a student to a popular spot for hitchhiking; she wore three different designs of bras made to make her boobs look bigger progressively; it was noted that the bigger the boobs the more chances of her getting a lift.

{{5. Sex is a form of exercise }}

This is another interesting one; sex as fun as it is, is also a means of exercise; during 30 minutes of active sex, you burn out 200 calories.

{{6. Organism is good for your health }}

Orgasm isn’t just the fun, sweet-sensation rush we know it as; orgasm also reduces a woman’s chances of getting stroke, heart diseases, depression and even cancer. So whenever you have that orgasm, you should be happy that you have solved more than one problem.

{{7. Vibrations }}

Vibrators were first produced in the 19th century as a way to reduce hysteria in women.

{{8. Orgasm }}

The average woman’s orgasm lasts longer than man’s; men lasts an average 6 seconds while women have it for 14 to 16 seconds longer.

{{9. Women do it more }}

If you think men have more sex than women then you are probably wrong because according to Men’s Fitness, women have sex fifteen times more than the average guy.

{{10. Love your body }}

According to Live Science, it was reported that a study among obese women revealed that women who love their bodies actually had better sex than those who didn’t. So you just have to love your body.

I told you this would be interesting and it was all the way; and remember if you must have sex let it be safe.

{Friends are an important part of our lives; they provide a support system that makes life beautiful. I’m not sure how one can survive without friends, or how the world would be if friendship didn’t exist.}

However, there should be a limit to everything; there should be boundaries which shouldn’t be crossed, else your friends might just ruin your relationship, and you both wouldn’t know it.

It might not be intentional, but this is how most women allow their friends ruin their relationship.

{{1. You let them decide who you should date }}

You should know what/who’s best for you, and you should have the final say on how your relationship life should go. But in a lot of circle, most women tend to decide who’s good enough for their friends — and this isn’t healthy.

{{2. Give wrong advice }}

I’ve seen so many wrong advice that has led to the end of a marriage or relationship. You should be careful who you seek advice from, but most ladies tend to meet their friends rather than trust their intuition; and this goes bad more often than not.

{{3. When your friends think your man isn’t good enough }}

You might have a gorgeous man for a partner; who you understand and he understands you thoroughly, but because he doesn’t meet certain social requirements, your friends might not really like him, or think he isn’t good enough.

Your man might be the best for you, but sooner or later, you would start finding faults in him because your mind has been poisoned towards him.

{{4. When you let them tell you what to do and what not}}

When you have friends that tell you what to do and what not to do in your relationship, you are going the wrong way. That decision should be up to you, and your relationship would definitely get ruined when you let your friends make your decisions for you.

{{5. When they want to seek control or punish your man }}

There are so many women like these who have no clue what a relationship should be like. They like to be in control of their relationships and tend to withhold sex, intimacy, peace and emotional availability just to punish or control their man. If you have friends who belong in this category of women, they could ruin your relationship.

{{6. They want all attention }}

It’s normal for friends to want your attention, but it shouldn’t be at the expense of your relationship. When your friends want you to ignore your man for them, that might not be healthy for your relationship.

{{7. They disrespect your partner }}

When you have friends that don’t like your man and disrespect him because of that, or talk bad about him every time; you would be influenced into doing the same thing in the near future — and you wouldn’t appreciate what your man does for you anymore.

{{8. They want to cheat }}

Friends who encourage you to cheat, flirt or pursue lustful desires aren’t good for your relationship. Friends who link you up with another man when they know you are in a relationship you like aren’t good for your relationship.

Friends are an important part of our lives, but letting them into your relationship might just be a step too far.

{Life would do one of two things to you; it would either shape you or break you.
}
There are certain principles of life you must follow; if you follow the right principles, you would get better, and if you adhere to the wrong principles, you might get caught up in life.

These are eight cardinal rules of life you must never forget:

{{1. Never live in fear }}

Fear is just as bad as failure; fear would make you procrastinate, fear would make you reluctant to take action, fear would kill your goals and make your dreams look impossible; fear would make you a failure. So, never be afraid of trying and even if you fail, never stop trying.

{{2. Always believe and stay positive }}

The mind is a useful tool and has huge power; it can make or mar you, depending on how you use it. Whatever you believe, you can achieve; set your mind to positive thoughts and never give negative thoughts the chance to settle in your hearts.

{{3. Failure is only an experience }}

Failure should never weigh you down in life; failure is only an opportunity to learn. It only means you should try again.

It’s not how many times you fail but how many times you stand up.

{{4. Move on from your past }}

Stop living in the past could be a hindrance to your success; move on, or else you might remain stuck in life.

{{5. Don’t compare your life to others }}

You waste your life when you compare it to that of another person. You are the best version of yourself, and you have no idea what that person is going through, have gone through or would go through.

Never let greed in your heart and never be envious of others; these are negative energy that wouldn’t help you in life.

{{6. Don’t let another person determine your happiness }}

You are the true source of your happiness; never let another person determine your happiness.

Find contentment in whatever situation you find yourself, and be happy no matter what. Life is too short to be unhappy.

{{7. Work hard}}

Don’t give room for laziness; work hard for whatever you want in life. Stop wishing life would be easier because it wouldn’t; start working.

{{8. Don’t worry about things you cannot control }}

Stop worrying about things that you cannot control; you would only become unhappy. Worrying never solves a thing.

Live with these eight cardinal rules of life, and you would never regret them.

{Attraction is very important for a relationship/marriage to succeed on the long-term. When you are attracted to someone, it’s easy to love that person; but when that attraction is gone or has faded, love would most likely fade.}

Attraction makes love easy, and your relationship would be difficult when your man isn’t attracted to you anymore.

These are some signs he isn’t attracted to you anymore:

{{1. He no longer sees you as beautiful }}

A man who’s still attracted to you would always see you as beautiful, even when you feel you aren’t. But when he doesn’t recognize your beauty even when you are at your worse, then the attraction is no longer there.

His attraction to you has little to do with how beautiful you are, but how beautiful he perceives you to be.

{{2. He gets easily irritated by your presence }}

When his attraction for you has faded, your presence would be like a nightmare to him; he would be embroiled with every little thing you do, and he could even get irritated with you for doing nothing.

{{3. No desire for intimacy }}

Of course, intimacy requires desire, and desire is a sign of attraction. When your man loses the desire to have intimate moments with you, and he isn’t even affected by your body and sex appeal, then it’s because the feeling of attraction isn’t there anymore.

{{4. The little signs of love become nonexistent }}

The little signs of love and affection are holding of hands, cuddling, kissing and doing things together — also, sharing a joke and laughing together. All these things would be nonexistent when your man isn’t attracted to you.

{{5. He no longer shows shows his love }}

When a man is in love with you, he’s still attracted to you, and when he’s attracted to you, he would do certain things to prove he loves you. He would try to put a smile on your face and do things to make you happy — that’s because he’s attracted to you. However, when he loses his attraction for you, he would no longer have the urge to show you he loves you, and even saying that he loves you would become a difficult task.

{{6. No desire for romantic moments }}

Romantic moments like date nights, movie nights and other things that help bond couple would be lost when a man is no longer attracted to you. He wouldn’t see your smile as beautiful anymore, and date nights would become boring to him.

{{7. Affection dies }}

Affection goes hand in hand with attraction. When attraction dies, affection goes with it. So every form of affection he used to show would become a thing of the past when the attraction is no longer there.

{{8. He no longer compliments you }}

He won’t compliment you anymore when his attraction for you has died away, no matter what you do or try to do. This is because he no longer sees you as beautiful and he no longer considers what you do as charming anymore.

{{9. He would be emotionally unavailable }}

Emotional unavailability is a major sign that he’s no longer attracted to you, and he would then become too busy for you, even though he used to be always available for you.

Loss of attraction is a big relationship problem, and when the attraction starts fading away, love might follow it soon enough.

{Scientifically, age is against women when it comes to reproduction, and this probably plays a major part in women’s desire to get married early. A woman is most fertile for reproduction in her 20’s and women don’t produce eggs like men who never run out of sperm cells. Women are born with a certain number of eggs which tends to finish by the time they are in their mid thirties to early forties.
}

Fertility aside, some men tend to court a woman for so long in the hope of getting married to them; some eventually get married, but some men leave the women afterwards even after 7-8 years of ‘courtship’, leaving the woman devastated and frustrated.

This brings to the question: How long is too long for a man to court a lady?

Drama and Shawn would share their opinion in today’s edition of Elcrema Sunday Love Special.

{{Drama}}

No length of time is too long or too short to court a woman, as long as you’re both happy in the relationship. If a guy loves a woman, and sticks with her, what does it matter for how long they court?

The whole point of being together in the first place is to enjoy each other’s company and support, so if you have that in your courtship I don’t see a reason why you should be worried about anything else.

I get that the ultimate goal of a relationship for most people is to eventually settle down and get married to each other, but then, you have to understand that if it takes him ‘ages’ to take it to the next level, there’s probably a good reason for it. If he’s good to you, then there’s no reason to bother. He’s probably stalling on that wedding because he’s not ready for the financial implications yet. You would agree that it costs a bit to get married in some parts of the world, so that could be a problem for him, but of course he wouldn’t tell you because he’s got an ego to protect. He may want to give you that dream wedding, but he needs to save up for it. This is one of the major reasons some men delay their wedding, and court a woman for long. The other reason is mental preparedness. Marriage is mature people’s business, so to get into it, you need to prepare your mind for it. Sometimes, it may take a while before you get a grip of what it’s all about, and finally be ready for it. A guy can love a woman, and still not be ready for marriage, it doesn’t matter for me, as long as you’re happy with him, wait it out.

Courtship is a bit different from dating. While couples could date just for the sake of being in a relationship with each other, loving each other without thinking of what comes next at that time or taking things slowly and watching where it would lead, courting is way different.

When it comes to courting, it’s about being in that relationship in preparation for marriage. Merriam Webster dictionary defines courtship as “to act in a way that shows that you want or intend to get married to someone“.

In my opinion, the appropriate time to court a lady is between two to three years. When it exceeds this point, anything could happen; the spark could begin to die, anxiety could begin to step in and nonchalance could also take its toll. While I believe a couple can date for a long time, I don’t think it’s right to court for a long time.

While in some cases, long courtship had led to beautiful marriages, in many other cases, long courtship has led to heartbreak and disappointments. You would mostly find more of the latter than the former.

You don’t need to court a woman for 7-9 years before deciding to marry her, and this is even very risky for the woman because a man can easily move on, but for a woman it’s like starting afresh in case that courtship doesn’t eventually lead to marriage.

Within a year, two or three, a man should decide whether or not to make the next move, and as long as he’s financially and emotionally ready to start a family, he should forge on. For me, long courtship is highly risky and probably unnecessary, though there are exceptions.

That’s our take on marriage and long courtship, what do you think about long courtship?

{It’s the little things we tend to neglect that actually makes a relationship last.}

Below are 7 little things that matter in a relationship

{{1. Thank you }}

Many people only say thank you to their partner for things that matter. They never forget to say thank you when their partner gets them a car or a jewelry. But do you say thank you when your partner makes you dinner or tidy your bed?

{{2. You are willing to partake in your partner’s interest }}

Little things like showing interest in things your partner enjoys doing matter in a relationship. When you show interest in things your partner enjoys doing, you show your partner that you are willing to leave your comfort zone just to see him/her happy.

{{3. Little gifts}}

Is your partner eager to watch a certain movie? Have you bothered taking him/her to the cinema to see the movie? Is your partner a pizza freak? When was the last time you bothered getting him/her pizza on way back from work? Little gifts like this matter in a relationship. Little gifts like this show you listen to your partner and care about your partner.

{{4. Always take your partner’s side in public }}

Taking your partner’s side in public is a little act that shows much. Whether your partner is right or wrong, you should never take sides with the opposition. Even in cases when you know your partner is at fault, at least try to bring the argument to an end without taking sides and talk to your partner about it in private.

{{5. Compliments }}

Complimenting your partner’s looks, personality or something you admire about your partner is a little gesture that can have a huge impact on your relationship.

{{6. Doing silly things together }}

Sometimes we tend to act way too mature and forget our playful sides. Doing silly things together with your partner matters in every relationship. It shows you are comfortable with each other.

{{7. Saying ‘ I love you’ }}

Your partner knows you love him/her but they still want you to say those words. Don’t forget to look your partner in the eyes and tell him/her that you love him/her. Say it like you mean it.

{Every marriage has problems but how well you navigate through these problems is the difference between having a happy marriage and a terrible marriage.
}
No one is saying applying these tips are easy but these tips if properly applied will do your marriage a lot of good.

Make your marriage healthy with the tips below

{{1. Apply the power of touch }}

How often do you touch your partner? I don’t mean the touch that leads to sex. Touch aids the release of feel-good endorphins. Next time you say good morning to your partner, do it with a kiss. Brush your hands through her hair and hold his hands while you take a walk.

{{2. Be the one to attract the one }}

This advice doesn’t just work for singles seeking a relationship, it also works in marriage. You can’t expect to have a happy marriage if you are not a happy person. So ensure you do things that make you happy because the happier you feel, the happier your marriage will be.

{{3. Pick the right time to resolve conflicts }}

You shouldn’t try to resolve a conflict if your partner is hungry or tired. It will definitely not end well. When you want to have a serious conversation with your partner, you should ensure the mood is right.

{{4. Talk less and listen more }}

Most marriage problems will be solved if couples learn to talk less and listen more. You can’t have a happy marriage if you talk more and listen less. Sometimes all our partner needs is our undivided attention.

{{5. Little things can make difference}}

Doing little things like saying thank you when your partner helps with a chore can make a lot of difference in your marriage. Give your partner a kiss before leaving for work and when you get back home from work. Little acts of love like this make a huge difference.

{{6. Don’t expect your partner to be perfect }}

No one is perfect. You will create lots of problems in your marriage when you expect your partner to be perfect. Avoid concentrating on your partner’s flaws. You need to understand you can’t change your partner. The only person who can change your partner is your partner. Try addressing your own flaws while seeing the best in your partner and you will be amazed at the result. Your partner will feel appreciated and will be eager to be a better version of himself/herself.

{{7. Avoid criticism }}

As couples, we get tempted to be on the offensive during conflicts with our partner and this solves nothing. Being too critical of your partner will only worsen the problem.