Category: Social

{We all (men and women) seek to meet that special someone who we will be happy to spend the rest of our lives with.}

How do you know if you are really meant to spend the rest of your life with him?

Below are 16 signs you have found the man you should marry

1. You are comfortable being around him. You don’t have to pretend to be someone else when you are with him.

2. When you are in a bad mood, he’s the person you wish you could be with.

3. He really pays attention and listens to what you have to say.

4. He is ready to make sacrifices just to see you happy.

5. Every relationship will have bad times but you know he is the man you should marry when the good times outweigh the bad times.

6. He loves you for who you really are.

7. No matter how big or crazy your dreams are, he’ll always support you.

8. You trust him completely.

9. He always has his eyes on you and you alone. He just can’t get enough of you.

10. He’s the first person you call when you have a good or bad news.

11. He’s honest with you.

12. You don’t only see him as your lover but you also see him as your best friend.

13. Your best memories are moments spent with him.

14. He makes you the best version of yourself.

15. Life doesn’t feel the same without him.

16. He looks beyond your flaws.

{Dreaming is a natural aspect of life; every human must have dreamt at one particular time of their lives. But what do you really know about your dreams?
}
These ten facts about dreams would probably shock you.

{{1. We only dream of faces we know }}

No matter what you feel, it’s been proven that the brain can’t really imagine a face; so everyone you dream of is probably someone you might have met at one time or the other. The brain has captured many faces that you won’t even believe you’ve seen before, and every face you see in your dream is a face you have most likely seen in reality.

{{2. Everyone dreams }}

So many people would tell you that they don’t dream, but that isn’t true. Studies have found that we all dream, but 60% of people can barely remember their dreams.

{{3. You can have several dreams every night }}

Experts reveal that you could have up to 100, 000 dreams in your lifetime and several of them in a night. Experts reveal that you can have up to 7 to a dozen dream per night and you dream every 90 minutes throughout the night.

{{4. Women dream of sex too }}

We all know of men’s dreams and their countless erections every night, but it isn’t just men that dream of sex alone.

A 2007 study found that women dream of sex just as much as men; though, while men dream of having sex with multiple partners, women dream mostly of celebrities, a crush, an ex or their current partner.

Another study in 2009 also found that while men dreamt more of sex women dreamt more of sexual fantasies like kissing and romancing.

{{5. Dreams can inspire great inventions}}

Many ideas and even great ideas have come from dreams. Dimitri Mendeleyev’s periodic table, Larry Page’s idea for Google and many other great innovations came from dreams.

{{6. You can take control of your dreams}}

A lot of people have learnt to take control of their dreams. This practice is called lucid or conscious dreaming.

{{7. Premonition dreams}}

Premonition dreams happen and are hardly explainable. This occurs when your dream comes to reality, and it has happened in many cases. Abraham Lincoln dreamt of his assassination, while many of the 9-11 victims had warning signs of what was to come.

{{8. Many couples dream of their partner cheating }}

According to dream expert, Lauri Quinn Loewenberg, the most common dreams are of people dreaming of their partners cheating. She did a survey of 5000 people and her study found that infidelity dream is the nightmare that haunts people the most.

{{9. Recurring dreams may mean something }}

Recurring dreams could be your mind’s way of passing a message according to Loewenberg. She suggests that there’s an underlying message in recurring dreams.

{{10. Dreams are mostly negative }}

Dreams are mostly negative than positive. Anger, sadness and fear are the three most reported emotions felt during dreams.

Do you still think that you don’t dream?

{Humans are social beings who need people in their everyday lives to talk with, share their joys and sorrow etc. Friends make life beautiful and worth living but what qualities should we look for when choosing a best friend?}

1. A best friend listens to what you have to say even if they are ridiculous stories he/she doesn’t understand.

2. A best friend knows who you are and doesn’t judge you based on your mistake.

3. A best friend is always there to take your side and protect you when others try to criticize you or make you feel bad. A best friend will stick by you even when it’s not convenient for him or her.

4. A best friend accepts you and your decisions even when he or she doesn’t agree with them.

5. Moments with your best friend are fun. A best friend shares your humour.

6. A best friend loves you for who you really are. A best friend accepts you at your worst.

7. No matter how busy he or she is, a best friend will be all ears when you are looking for someone to talk to.

8. A best friend celebrates your success and not let envy get the best of him or her.

9. A best friend is someone you can depend on. No matter what happens, he or she is someone you can depend on.

10. A best friend understands no one is without flaws and forgives you when you wrong him or her.

11. A best friend is someone who you can trust to keep your secrets because he or she is trustworthy.

12. A best friend can talk about almost anything with you.

13. A best friend is someone you can trust to give you their honest opinion on anything.

14. A best friend encourages you to be the best you can be.

15. A best friend is someone who would never say bad about you to others.

{Selfishness is one of human’s biggest problems. Naturally, humans are selfish beings, and our everyday lives revolve around ourselves – “Me”, “I”, “Myself” are three words humans know how to use very often.}

We tend to think more of ourselves than we do of others. Of course, if there wasn’t selfishness, words like stealing, chaos, murder, adultery, looting and the lots won’t even exist.

Unfortunately, people bring that selfish behaviour into their relationships, family and everywhere they find themselves.

These are some common characters selfish people exhibit.

{{1. They love favours }}

No one loves favour more than a selfish person; a selfish person would want you to do something for them and wouldn’t care how you do it, what it would cost you and the implications of the favour; they just want it done.

{{2. They hardly handout favours }}

For all their love of favours from people, selfish persons don’t or hardly hand out favour to others. They hate to give out their things or help out others, and when they do, they do it grudgingly.

{{3. They feel you owe them }}

A selfish person might want a favour from you, and would believe that they deserve the favour; it’s more like you owe them that favour. Selfish people think they deserve special treatment from you.

{{4. They hate criticisms }}

Selfish people hate when they are criticised even if they are being rightly criticised. They just want people to think highly of them at all times and give in to all their demands.

{{5. They never evaluate the implications of their actions }}

Selfish people do things without minding the effects it would have and the implications their actions might cause. As long as it doesn’t hurt them, then that’s all that matters.

{{6. They think so highly of themselves }}

It’s common for a selfish person to see themselves as better than others; they see themselves as the more mature and intelligent ones, and other’s are less intelligent than them.

In a selfish person’s eyes, they are perfect.

{{7. They are manipulative }}

Selfish people can be so manipulative at times and full of scheming and plotting, just so that they can get what they want.

8. Selfish people have a high sense of “me first” attitude. They want what they want first. They usually have a strong desire to be in control and for others to do their bidding and are unwilling to compromise with others.

Selfish people are guilty of these characters. There are various degrees of selfishness, and the more a person exhibits these characters, the more selfish they really are.

Are you a selfish person?

{We all expect our partners to be faithful to us but sometimes our partner can’t keep their promise to stay faithful.}

Below are 18 common signs your partner is cheating

1. Your partner is probably cheating if he/she hates it when you pay him/her a surprise visit.

2. Your partner used to be ready for sex always despite mood, workload or stress but these days there is less appetite for sex.

3. If your partner starts making unexplained expenses, he/she is probably cheating. Having an affair is costly as he/she has to pay for dinners, accommodation in hotels etc.

4. Your partner is probably cheating if he/she refuse to answer his/her phone in your presence. He/she prefers to make and receive calls in private.

5. Your partner is probably cheating if he/she never lets you use his/her phone.

6. Your partner is probably cheating if the levels of attention he/she gives you has reduced drastically. Someone out there has his/her attention.

7. Your partner is probably cheating if he/she has a second phone number you never knew about until recently.

8. Your partner is probably cheating if he/she has two accounts on Facebook, Twitter, BBM etc. One of the account is probably to communicate with you while the other account is to communicate with the other partner.

9. Your partner is probably cheating on you if your partner is randomly bringing new moves to bed. He/she might be taking lesson in bed from someone out there.

10. Your partner is probably cheating on you if he/she now prefers to spend time alone rather than spend time with you.

11. If your partner suddenly starts working late after having a regular work schedule for years, he/she is probably cheating on you.

12. Your partner is probably cheating on you if a new friend of the opposite sex suddenly pops out and your partner seems to spend more time with that new friend including more time talking with that new friend on phone.

13. Your partner is probably cheating on you if he/she always looks for an opportunity to pick a fight with you.

14. Your partner is probably cheating on you if his/her phone is password protected and he/she refuses to give you the password.

15. Your partner is probably cheating on you if he/she suddenly starts paying more attention to his/her appearance.

16. Your partner is probably cheating on you if he/she regularly deletes text messages and IM chats.

17. Your partner is probably cheating on you if he/she always clears his/her phone’s call history.

18. Your partner is probably cheating on you if he/she regularly changes his/her phone, email, computer and social media passwords. Chances are that your partner is trying to hide something.

Do you think your partner is cheating?

{It’s surprising how one can be in love and still do certain things to jeopardise their relationship or create a gap for negativity to breed.}

If you look at certain things people do in a relationship critically, you’d truly see how foolish their actions are and how much it would hurt the relationship.

What are some of those foolish things?

1. Never mock or berate your partner just to make yourself feel better. Never mock your partner for any reason at all.

2. Never hold your emotions or be emotionally unavailable to your partner.

3. Never instigate jealousy for whatsoever reason; it might impact your relationship negatively.

4. Never force your partner to be who/what they aren’t.

5. Never try to deceive your partner. You are only deceiving yourself to be in a deceitful relationship.

6. Never take your partner for granted.

7. Never compare your partner to another person.

8. Don’t put your partner in second place; your partner should be a priority to you.

9. Don’t fail to appreciate your partner for whatever they do for you, no matter how little.

10. Never let pride come in-between how you feel about that person.

11. Never feel that you are doing your partner a favour by having a relationship with them.

12. Never be hardhearted towards your partner.

13. Words hurt. Never use harsh words on your partner.

14. Never be the partner to cause unnecessary drama or problems in the relationship.

15. Never be self-centered or think about yourself in the relationship.

16. Never cheat on your partner.

17. Your friends should be important to you, but never make your partner feel less than them.

18. Never make your partner beg you for your love.

19. Never be insensitive to your partner’s feelings.

20. Never hold grudges, keep scores and bring up the past.

These 20 things might seem petty, but the negative effects they have on the relationship can bring down your relationship in no time.

If you’ve been guilty of these, you need to rearrange your ways, because you’ve just been doing some foolish things in your relationship and to your partner.

{Many people wonder what the secrets of living a happy life is; that could be one of the trickiest questions ever. But happiness isn’t impossible, and while many have concluded that happiness is found in wealth and material substances — it’s actually far from that — the happiness you get from these are momentary.}

These 21 quotes will change the way you think about happiness.

1. “The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us.” — Ashley Montagu

2. “Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.” — Stacey Charter

3.“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” — Epictetus

4.“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.” — Dale Carnegie

5.“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognising and appreciating what we do have.” — Frederick Keonig

6.“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” — Herman Cain

7.“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

8.“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” — Helen Keller

9.“It is more fitting for a man to laugh at life than to lament over it.” — Seneca

10.“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.” — Marcel Pagnol

11.“Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.” — Franklin D. Roosevelt

12.“It’s been my experience that you can nearly always enjoy things if you make up your mind firmly that you will.” — L.M. Montgomery

13.“The unhappy derive comfort from the misfortunes of others.” — Aesop

14.“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.”– Eleanor Roosevelt

15.“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.” — Winston Churchill

16.“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” — Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

17.“Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.” — Andy Rooney

18.“Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.” — Benjamin Disraeli

19.“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” — Aesop

20.“The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past.” — Andre Maurois

21.“Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another.” — Marquis de Condorcet.

{The ability to handle anger properly is really important. When you don’t handle anger properly, you ruin your relationship and compromise your ability to perform everyday tasks like driving.}

Below are 7 things you shouldn’t do when you are angry

1. Avoid making decisions

The worst time to make decisions are when you are angry. We often regret decisions made when we are angry. Avoid the temptation to quit a relationship when you are angry. Important decisions like quitting a relationship should be done when you are in a better frame of mind.

{{2. Avoid driving}}

Avoid driving when you are angry because you put yourself and other road users at risk. Our ability to focus and concentrate is diminished when we are angry and this could lead to poor judgment when driving.

{{3. Send messages }}

You can’t take back messages sent so it’s important you avoid sending messages when angry. When you are angry, you aren’t in control of your emotions and you could send a message you will regret later.

{{4. Avoid posting on social media }}

Posting on social media when angry isn’t something you should do. When you air your grievances on social media, you might post something you will regret later. Once you put it out there, its out there for the world to digest.

{{5. Shouting }}

Shouting when angry might make you feel better but it doesn’t address the problem. Venting might not have a positive effect.

{{6. Dwell on it }}

When you dwell on what made you angry and you refuse to let go, the problem will most likely spiral out of control. Dwelling on what made you angry can lead to you blowing the problem out of proportion. Learn to respectfully deal with the problem and let go.

{{7. Bottle it up }}

Bottling it up doesn’t make things better. Just because you are advised not to shout when angry doesn’t mean you should bottle it up. Holding anger isn’t good for your health. Find a way to respectfully solve the problem.

{We all need friends; it’s part of what make us humans but just because we need friends doesn’t mean everyone we meet should be a friend.}

Here are 6 types of friends you don’t need in your life

{{1. The friend who gossips }}

Friends who gossip aren’t good for anyone. If your friend badmouth others when with you, that friend will definitely use anything you might share with him/her to badmouth you too when with others.

{{2. The friend who envies your success }}

Any friend who envies your success shouldn’t be a friend. If your friend feels miserable when you have a good news, then it’s time to let that friend go.

{{3. The friend who flirts with your partner }}

If you have a friend who loves flirting with your partner, it’s time to let that friend go. A friend who hangs out with your partner without letting you know isn’t a friend.

{{4. The friend who is never there for you }}

If your friend is never there for you, it’s time to let that friend go. A true friend sticks with you whether it’s convenient or not.

{{5. The friend who never has something positive to say }}

Surrounding yourself with negative people will make you start acting negative and miserable. If you have a friend who seems to have nothing good to say about anything, it’s time to let that friend go.

{{6. The attention-seeking friend }}

Some friends love attention so much and will always want to steal all the attention from you. A friend who acts like he/she is in a competition with you isn’t a friend. Such a friend will take any opportunity to stab you in the back.

{Everyone benefits when cooperation runs smoothly However, people often act obstructively. Why do they do that? Professor of Social Psychology Carsten de Dreu researches this issue using a wide variety of methods, from brain scans to the role of religion.}

{{Fear of being exploited}}

From winning a complex war to developing a life-saving drug: there are so many things that can only be achieved if people work together in harmony. They can then achieve impressive performances that also benefit the individual. So, why do colleagues or others so often make things difficult for one another? Empirical research carried out by De Dreu has shown that greed and fear are the basic reasons underlying problems with teamwork. ‘People are afraid that their contribution will mainly benefit those people who themselves contribute nothing. That’s why people hold back and invest in self-protection rather than cooperation.’

{{Experiments
}}

De Dreu examined the strategies people use to maximise the benefits for themselves and to reduce the risk of being exploited. He conducts experiments where the participants can invest in self-protection or attacks on others, or they can choose to do nothing. When motivated by greed, people seem to invest mainly in self-protection and less in attacks on others. ‘Fear is almost always present as a brake on cooperation, but it’s more difficult to predict when greed will crop up.’ The paradox is that fear among rival groups tends to result in people working better together. ‘It seems to happen almost automatically, often without it even being discussed.’

{{What does our brain look like?}}

As Professor of Employment and Organisation Psychology at the University of Amsterdam, De Dreu has conducted a lot of research on cooperation within organisations. In Leiden he intends to approach the subject at a higher level of abstraction. ‘We know a lot about what makes the best kind of leaders. Now I want to examine what our brain looks like when we are working together. I’m interested in that because cooperating with one another relies on very basic systems that we also use for other tasks, such as child-rearing.’

{{Oxytocin, the cuddle hormone}}

He intends to use brain scans to look at which neurohormones play a role in cooperation, such as the ‘cuddle hormone’ oxytocin. Is more oxytocin produced when people are working together successfully? And can you influence cooperation by administering a dose of this hormone? ‘This neurobiological approach has only really been used by psychologists in the past five years, and there are a lot of important research questions that have to be answered.’

{{The effect of religion and rules}}

De Dreu draws attention to his multidisciplinary approach. He is also interested in the effect of such ‘institutions’ as religion and legislation because these have an obvious influence on our behaviour. He will be working together with fellow scientists from other disciplines: sociologists, political scientists, legal specialists, religious experts and also biologists who will be examining the behaviour of rats, for example.

{{Managers in the scanner}}

De Dreu doesn’t exclude the possibility that he will again be conducting some of his research in organisations. Until then he would welcome any managers would be willing to take part in his neurobiological research. ‘I would love it if a lot of managers were willing to have scans while making decisions about their companies. But then they’d have to come in their masses, and that’s not to easy to achieve.’