Category: Social

{Some women fall out of love in their marriage, some women marry for the wrong reasons only to discover that they weren’t truly in love in the first place.}

These are some of the differences that exist between a loving and unloving wife.

1. A wife who truly loves you is a selfless woman and loves you unconditionally, but an unloving wife cares little about that and tries to make the marriage all about her.

2. A loving wife will stick to her man through thick and thin, while an unloving wife bails out at the slightest trouble.

3. A loving wife is her man’s biggest supporter; she is his cheerleader and makes him have hope even when there’s no hope.

4. A loving wife is committed to the marriage; she’s committed to making it work and puts in efforts for it to be so. An unloving wife is nonchalant about the success of the marriage; she’s just in it for her selfish interest.

5. A loving wife is committed to making her man better; she’s interested in his progress and tries to make him a better man. An unloving wife will bring her man down with her words and even compare him to another man.

6. A loving wife lives within the means of that which she and her husband can provide. An unloving wife cares about her luxuries and still lives in her high horses.

7. Love is shown by your deeds, and a loving wife creates a peaceful and loving home for her husband, but an unloving wife criticises, ridicules and nags all the time.

8. A loving wife is contented with her home, accepts even the flaws of her husband, she’s patient and she cares about his happiness. An unloving wife is just the opposite, and she causes a quarrel at the slightest instance.

Which kind of wife are you?

Source:Elcrema

{A lot of people tend to wallow in self-pity; they tend to have pity on themselves and hope others will do so too.
}

Self-pity is a very harmful trait, and a quote reads: “Never let yourself yield to the seductive pool of self-pity. Acting like a victim threatens your future.”

{{These are some reasons you shouldn’t let self-pity into your life.}}

1. Whenever you feel sorry for yourself, you give room for the problem to become bigger, and it also looks bigger in your eyes.

2. Self-pity only makes things worse; you can never come out of a difficult situation by having self-pity.

3. Self-pity swallows your thinking, motivation and will; it leaves you lifeless.

4. When you choose to have that consciousness of self-pity, it means you’ve agreed to live with those sad regrets and they will be there for you every day.

5. Having self-pity is like putting yourself in a hole and believing that you’re locked inside, without wanting to know if there are escape routes. Self-pity is a trap that’ll hinder you from seeing any possibility.

6. You have so much ability in you, but self-pity is a cloak that’ll never make you see through it.

7. Self-pity will make you think of the problem and not the solution.

Self-pity is a cancer that you shouldn’t let into your life. You cannot change the past, but you can change the future, and it starts by letting go of the past and kicking away self-pity.

Source:Elcrema

{People’s language changes when they lie depending on their cultural background.}

Psychologists have discovered that people’s language changes when they lie depending on their cultural background.

Professor Paul Taylor of Lancaster University in the UK said: “Science has long known that people’s use of language changes when they lie. Our research shows that prevalent beliefs about what those changes look like are not true for all cultures.”

The researchers asked participants of Black African, South Asian, White European and White British ethnicity to complete a Catch-the-Liar task in which they provided genuine and false statements.

They found the statements of Western liars tend to include fewer first-person “I” pronouns than the statements of truth-tellers. This is a common finding and believed to be due to the liar trying to distance themselves from the lie.

However, they did not find this difference when examining the lies of Black African and South Asian participants. Instead, these participants increased their use of first person pronoun and decreased their third person “he/she” pronouns — they sought to distance their social group rather than them self from the lie.

There were also differences in the kinds of contextual details reported. The White European and White British participants followed the known trend of decreasing the perceptual information they provided in their lie. In contrast, the Black African and South Asian participants increased the perceptual information they gave when lying, to compensate for providing less social details.

“The results demonstrate that linguistic cues to deception do not appear consistently across all cultures. The differences are dictated by known cultural differences in cognition and social norms.”

This has implications for everything from forensic risk assessments, discrimination proceedings and the evaluation of asylum seekers.

“In the absence of culture-specific training, an individual’s judgements about veracity is most likely drawn from either experience or an evidenced-based understanding based on studies of Western liars. In these scenarios, erroneous judgements of veracity may impact on justice

“In today’s world, where law enforcement and justice are asked to respond to a greater cultural diversity of suspect it will be important to use findings such as those presented here to adapt existing practices and policies so that they afford justice for all communities within the population.”

Source:Science Daily

{The power of friendship gets stronger with age and may even be more important than family relationships, indicates new research by a Michigan State University scholar.}

In a pair of studies involving nearly 280,000 people, William Chopik found that friendships become increasingly important to one’s happiness and health across the lifespan. Not only that, but in older adults, friendships are actually a stronger predictor of health and happiness than relationships with family members.

“Friendships become even more important as we age,” said Chopik, assistant professor of psychology. “Keeping a few really good friends around can make a world of difference for our health and well-being. So it’s smart to invest in the friendships that make you happiest.”

For the first study, Chopik analyzed survey information about relationships and self-rated health and happiness from 271,053 participants of all ages from nearly 100 countries. The second study looked at data from a separate survey about relationship support/strain and chronic illness from 7,481 older adults in the United States.

According to the first study, both family and friend relationships were linked to better health and happiness overall, but only friendships became a stronger predictor of health and happiness at advanced ages.

The second study also showed that friendships were very influential – when friends were the source of strain, participants reported more chronic illnesses; when friends were the source of support, participants were happier.

Chopik said that may be because of the optional nature of relationships – that over time, we keep the friends we like and make us feel good and discard the rest. Friends also can provide a source of support for people who don’t have spouses or for those who don’t lean on family in times of need. Friends can also help prevent loneliness in older adults who may experience bereavement and often rediscover their social lives after they retire.

Family relationships are often enjoyable too, Chopik said, but sometimes they involve serious, negative and monotonous interactions.

“There are now a few studies starting to show just how important friendships can be for older adults. Summaries of these studies show that friendships predict day-to-day happiness more and ultimately how long we’ll live, more so than spousal and family relationships,” he said.

Friendships often take a “back seat” in relationships research, Chopik added, which is strange, especially considering that they might be more influential for our happiness and health than other relationships.

“Friendships help us stave off loneliness but are often harder to maintain across the lifespan,” he said. “If a friendship has survived the test of time, you know it must be a good one – a person you turn to for help and advice often and a person you wanted in your life.”

Source:Science Daily

Everyone wants to be successful; I’m yet to see a person who wants to be a failure.

However, it’s not enough to want success; there’s always a price to pay for success. There are some things you must quit if you truly want to be successful.

These are some of those things you must quit to be successful:

{{1. Quit trying to achieve goals without a plan }}

Planning is a huge part of success; every success comes with a laid out plan. Even when the plans fail, you have to keep planning and re-planning. You cannot achieve success without a plan.

{{2. Quit thinking you don’t have a choice }}

You might feel stuck and believe that you don’t have a choice; but there’s always a choice. You only have to look at things with a third eye.

{{3. Quit thinking things will pan on its own }}

Things don’t move on their own except you push them. Thinking things will work out on its own are just a lazy man’s way of thinking. Look at the reason for the problem and spend your time thinking of the solution; that’s how things work.

{{4. Quit thinking short term }}

Short-term goals will only give you short-term results. To move forward in the future, you must think about the future; don’t just expect the future to sort itself out — plan about your long-term future.

{{5. Quit giving excuses for failure }}

There’s always an excuse for failure, and there are always two reactions to failure. The first reaction is to evaluate why you failed, plan on a new outcome and try again, and the second reaction is to justify why you failed to yourself and then everyone. While unsuccessful people go for the latter, successful people choose the former.

{{6. Stop looking for quick success }}

Check the life of every successful person in any given field — one thing they all have in common is patience; patience, perseverance, dreams, vision and hard work are all found in everyone who has genuine success. Stop looking for overnight success; if you want to succeed genuinely, then there should be nothing like overnight success in your dictionary.

{{7. Don’t be afraid of the pain
}}

There’s a common theme most gym instructors have — “no pain, no gain”, and this is true in every aspect of life. The pain is where the lessons are, and where the lessons are, is where you’d find success. In other words, the reality of success is wrapped up in the misery of pains; every successful person knows this. Listen to every success story and you’ll observe that there is always a period of pain — this is inevitable.

So don’t be afraid of the pain if you want to be successful.

{{8. Quit thinking negatively }}

I always mention this on this platform, and if you’re a regular reader of Elcrema, you’d know how much emphasis I put on positive thinking. Thinking negatively just puts an end to success; success starts with the mind, and if the mind thinks it’s impossible then you have nailed that dream to the cross. If you can overcome your mind, then you can be anything in this world that you want to be. Your mind is your biggest asset and it’s yet your biggest enemy.

{{9. Quit talking and start working }}

I have a friend who’s so blessed with wonderful ideas. Any time I see him, he has a new idea buzzing in his head, and I’d say to myself “that’s a beautiful idea”. The problem is that he always talks about his ideas and never work on them, and that was when I gave up on him. Anyone who’s ready to talk the talk and not do the work isn’t ready for success.

{{10. Quit procrastinating }}

The time to start is always now; procrastination is an enemy of success. It starts with having a reason to delay and start tomorrow, and then it’ll give you so many reasons why you shouldn’t start at all.

{{11. Quit comparing yourself with others }}

There might be competition in business, but there’s no competition in life. And even in business, there’s still a sky big enough for everyone despite the competition. So stop comparing yourself with others and start building on your path to success.

Are you truly ready for success? Then you must quit these things.

Source:Elcrema

{We live in times where negativity seems to be more than positivity; you look around you, and there are just so many negatives. On social media, news and stories happening around, a great majority of them tend to be negative news.}

What can one when faced with so much negativity?

{{1. Never lose focus }}

Maintaining your focus is very important, and you shouldn’t let the negativity happening around you to steal your focus. When you lose focus, you’ll lose your sense of direction.

{{2. Focus on the positives }}

There’s always a positive side of things, it’s just that people tend to focus more on the negative and pay no attention to the positive. Focusing on the negatives will add no benefits to you, but focusing on the positives has so many benefits.

{{3. Focus on solutions }}

A major difference between a successful and unsuccessful man is what they focus on. Everyone has challenges, but while a successful man has the mentality of focusing on the solutions, an unsuccessful man will focus on the problem. Focus your attention on the solution and there will always be a way out.

{{4. Surround yourself with positive people }}

Who you surround yourself with will always have an effect on you. Surround yourself with positive people and you’ll see positive results, surround yourself with negative people and you’ll get negative results. Let the energy around you be positive, and this can only happen when the people around you are positive.

{{5. Learn to let things go }}

I am yet to see the first benefit of worry; worrying has so many dangers and no benefit. Learn to let things go, accept responsibilities for your actions, learn from them and let them go. Worrying over them will only compound the problem.

Negativity is everywhere around you, but never let them become a part of you.

Source:Elcrema

{The fact is that social media has come to stay, and it has its blessings and curses; it all depends on how you see it and what you make of it.}

The mistake a lot of people make is that they judge their life based on what they see on social media; they compare their lives with others based on social media.

If you have been using social media to judge your life, these are reasons you shouldn’t:

{{1. You shouldn’t compare your life with anyone }}

Life isn’t a competition; there’re no winners and losers medal, there’s no trophy for who comes first and second. You should be your own competition; you should wake up every morning and try to be the best you can be. Don’t compare your life with other people based on what they post on social media; you’ll never be your best when you do this.

{{2. There are lots of things on social media }}

You don’t need a prophet to tell you that there are so many fake things on social media; so why should you compare the real things in your life with the fake things in someone else’s life. The fact you see a picture of a happy person doesn’t necessarily mean that person is happy and without worries in life. Social media is just an illusion that you shouldn’t get carried away with.

{{3. Your worst vs their best }}

The human in you probably tends to look at the worst things going on in your life and not the best things; you tend to pay more attention to what’s not working than what is working. The worst part of it is, you then compare your worst moments with the best moments of others when you judge your life on social media.

{{4. It kills joy }}

When you judge your life on social media, you’d lose your joy; you can never be happy when you do this.

{{5. You lose focus }}

You can never have focus in life when your attention and mindset are on the wrong things. You need focus to succeed in life and judging your life on social media can never give you success.

{{6. You’ll keep going on the wrong path}}

When you compare your life with others on social media, you’ll keep going on the wrong path, and how can you get to the right destination when you are on the wrong path?

Never judge your life on social media; there’s nothing there for you. You’d lose a whole lot when you judge your life on social media.

Source:Elcrema

{Enough of telling yourself the wrong things, enough of believing it’s impossible, enough of trapping yourself with your negative thoughts about yourself; because if you don’t come out of that trap, you’d never have breakthrough.}

Now start saying these things to yourself:

{{1. “I’ll be the best I can be”}}

Make a stand to be the best you can be today, to give your best today and nothing other than your best. Greatness starts with giving your best, so wake up every morning and tell yourself: “I’ll be the best I can be”.

{{2. “I have greatness in me”}}

Greatness first starts from the inside before it begins to manifest; so if you don’t see your greatness, you can never become great. See greatness in you and say it every morning.

{{3. “Nothing is impossible”}}

Never wake up feeling downcast and believing life is difficult and some things are just impossible. It’s only impossible when you say it’s impossible, wake up with the mindset that all things are possible, and you’ll see yourself doing the impossible. Saint Francis of Assisi said: “Start by doing what’s necessary, then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”

{{4. “If I fail,I’d try again”}}

Never let failure hold you bound, even if you have failed before, try again. Wake up every morning and say “I’ll keep trying till I get there”.

{{5. “Today is a great day to start”}}

Today is the day to start; not tomorrow. In other words, kick procrastination out of your life and see today as the best day to start.

{{6. “I’d keep searching”}}

Benjamin Franklin said: “An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.” Start seeking for knowledge, start searching for it and never remain constant. Knowledge always proffer the way to the top.

So wake up every morning with the zeal to gain knowledge that day.

Source:Elcrema

Jake

{It’s very easy to get attached to certain objects and properties, and this sometimes, makes it almost near impossible to let go of them, even when they’re long due for replacement, but while it’s fine to hold on to some objects and properties, for the sake of cleanliness and hygiene, it’s wise to dispose of certain ones; like the following…}

{{Really old shoes }}

All those old, torn and ugly looking shoes you’ve had for years should be thrown away. Old shoes usually have a bad smell, and you’ll be messing up the smell of your house by keeping them around. Apart from that, you would be creating room for new shoes when you do so.

{{Photographs }}

When I say photographs, I don’t mean those photos you love so much, of course not, I mean those photographs that remind you of a horrible event or trigger pain in you. Those photos of people you no longer like, you should get rid of them to save yourself the trauma and hurt they can cause. You also get to free up some space in your photo album.

{{Broken objects }}

You can try to fix up the ones you can (if they’re fix- able), and you absolutely can’t let go of them, otherwise, it helps to keep your apartment and home looking neat when there aren’t pieces of broken objects and materials lying around in every corner. You also avert the danger of sustaining cuts and wounds from these objects.

{{Clothing }}

Sometimes an outfit is so expensive you go sick at the thought of losing it. Sometimes you just hold on to certain clothing because you don’t want to have to revisit the market for them when they come back into fashion; I get it. But if you continue to keep your old clothes (that you don’t really need), you’ll eventually run out of space to store new ones, so, it’s in your best interest to throw away those ones you don’t really need. You could also give them to people who might need them.

{{Magazines and newspapers }}

Rodents and insect can hide behind that pile of papers and magazines in your house. So get rid of them unless you absolutely have need for them. Clean up your home, and keep it welcoming always.

Source:Elcrema

{How you dress, talk, eat and even what you allow yourself to feel — these often unspoken rules of a group are social norms, and many are internalized to such a degree that you probably don’t even notice them. Following norms, however, can sometimes be costly for individuals if norms require sacrifice for the good of the group. How and why did humans evolve to follow such norms in the first place?}

A new study from the National Institute for Mathematical and Biological Synthesis explores this question, shedding light on the origins of human cooperation.

The results, published today in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, show that the ability of humans to internalize social norms is expected to evolve under a wide range of conditions, helping to forge a kind of cooperation that becomes instinctive.

The researchers used computer simulations to model both individual behavior in joint group actions and underlying genetic machinery controlling behavior. The researchers worked from the premise that adherence to norms is socially reinforced by the approval of, and rewards to, individuals who follow them and by punishment of norm violators. The researchers’ goal was to see whether certain norms get internalized, meaning that acting according to a norm becomes an end in itself, rather than a tool to get something or to avoid social sanctions.

In the model, individuals make choices about participating in collective actions that require cooperation, and individuals who don’t cooperate, or “free riders,” can face consequences.

Specifically, the authors looked at two general kinds of collective actions requiring cooperation that our ancestors might have regularly faced. The first type of group action involves “us-vs.-nature” scenarios, where groups must defend against predators and hunt and breed cooperatively. The second type of group action is “us-vs.-them,” which constitutes direct conflicts or other costly competition with other groups over territory, mating, access to trade routes, and the like.

The model found that norm internalization readily evolves in both scenarios.

The model also shows that encouraging peer punishment of free-riders is much more efficient in promulgating cooperation in collective actions than promoting participation itself.

The study predicts a significant genetic variation in the ability of humans to internalize norms. In particular, under some conditions populations are expected to have a relatively small frequency of “over-socialized” individuals who are willing to make extreme sacrifices for their groups. Examples in today’s society might be suicide bombers and other displays of extreme self-sacrificial behavior for the good of the group. Likewise, there are also “under-socialized” individuals — psychopaths — who are completely immune to any social norms.

As social and physical environments vary greatly between different human groups, the model accounts for this variation and can predict how these differences will affect human social behavior and human decision-making in different regions.

In addition to answering theoretical questions about the origins of human cooperation, the study may have a variety of practical applications.

“Every day human beings make choices among multiple options in how to respond to various social situations. Those choices are affected by many interacting factors, including social norms and values. Understanding the effects of social norms could help us better understand human decision-making and better predict human actions in response to certain events or policies,” said lead author Sergey Gavrilets, a professor of ecology and evolutionary biology and mathematics at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville, and NIMBioS associate director for scientific activities.

Gavrilets also said the models could be helpful in social and economic policymaking.

“Changing social institutions is a common strategy for changing human behavior,” he said. “Sometimes there are attempts to borrow or transfer institutions from one country or region to another. Often such strategies fail miserably, however. Our models can help explain why. Generalizing our models can lead to the development of better tools for predicting consequences of introducing certain social policies and institutions and in identifying the most efficient strategies for changing or optimizing group behaviors.”

Source:Science Daily