Sometimes many women ask themselves the big question: ‘will he ever marry me?’ and too often, men do not seem to have the answer to the question.
Some women prefer to wait for their boyfriend to get ready or pop the question spontaneously but the wait is vain when the boyfriend never seems to do so.
There are times when the man has many excuses like financial stability, getting his life together or he is too busy to think about marriage. There is always an excuse and these arguments are always meant to keep you around as long as he doesn’t marry you.
The first thing to wonder is when a man knows he is going to marry his partner.
It varies from one person to another but some studies show that it takes between six and seven months for a man to know if he is going to marry and spend the rest of his life with his current partner.
During that time, the man already knows if he will marry you or if you are just wasting each other’s time until they all have enough.
This does not mean that the man should immediately ask for your hand. It only means that during the relationship, the man always knows if you are a wifey material.
Below are signs showing that a man will never marry you:
{{Telling you that he will never get married }}
Many women ignore this fact but if a man has repeatedly told you that he will never marry, you should take his word for it.
So many women believe what we see in romcoms assuming that a man will change his mind about marriage but it is far from reality. If a man has told you many times that he does not see himself ever marrying, you should believe him when there is still time.
There is no reason to continue to waste your time on a person who has already told you what his plans are.
{{You have never met his family}}
Usually, when a man gets serious with a woman, typical signs would be showing her to his family, to see what they think and if they approve, this is an indicator of how to know if he wants to marry you.
It is very rare and somehow impossible for a man to plan marriage with you if you have never met his parents or in the least his siblings. So, if you have been together for a while and haven’t met the family, marriage is probably off the table.
{{He does not want to plan for the future with you }}
When people have been in a long-term relationship they usually plan their future together and see each other in their future.
If you have also been in a long-term relationship but your partner does not seem to want to talk about the future with you there is a problem.
He may know that planning the future would involve bringing up the question of marriage, pushing him to avoid it at all cost.
{{He always has excuses }}
When he always finds excuses when you bring up the marriage question, it is a clear sign of what is on his mind.
For example, if he keeps making excuses not to get married, the answer is probably no.
He can sometimes say, he has to be financially stable first which is totally right but if he has landed a big promotion and is doing well but then makes another excuse for not getting married, this is a pretty clear indicator that marriage isn’t in his plans.
{{He lives like a single man}}
If your boyfriend acts like a bachelor, he still considers himself as a bachelor.
If he always goes out without telling you and is always hanging out with his single buddies flirting with girls, that man is single and he still can’t make you his priority. He has no intention of tying the knot.
{{Claiming that he doesn’t know if he is ready }}
Sometimes a man may not really feel like he is ready to marry which is totally normal. But if you have been in a long-term relationship with him and he still feels like he is always claiming he doesn’t know if he is, it is a sign he never will.
People are different; things can vary from one person to another, but if you don’t have the same direction or understanding of things, it is better to go your own way.
As I grew up, I used to look at women in their 20’s and think how much they had their lives together and how their lives looked appealing to a kid who knew nothing about life so far. Now as a woman in my early 20’s, life is a rollercoaster.
I have talked to several women who are now in their 30’s about life, dating and marriage and this is what they would like to share with you.
Nadine Bucyana, now in her 30’s says that during her 20’s she would have wished to live and learn from Christian elders and friends, some adventures were not necessary or worth her time.
“We used to spend most of our time doing things and making decisions at the heat of the moment without clearly thinking about it. Most people are now living with the consequences.” She said.
Her advice to women in their 20’s is to live life fully, enjoy it, be grateful and learn something new.
“After doing all those things, you must know that your decisions today will affect your future. So, make sure you are making the right ones.”
Bucyana continued to reminisce on the use of social media noting that people in their 20’s should learn how to appropriately use social media.
“Social media will either tarnish your image or your friend’s image. Nowadays, many want to be social media influencers without purpose and public figures without manners,” she observed.
Janvière Uwase,30, currently working at Kigali Genocide Memorial also has a message to share with women in their 20’s.
She advised people in their 20’s to go at their own pace.
“I wish these girls would set their own pace and not go by the standard of society. When you go by the society, you can regret certain decisions your whole life, sometimes you might ruin your life just because society has dictated you to do something,” Uwase noted.
She said that girls in their 20’s should be themselves and set clear goals.
“You should work hard to achieve what you want, and there is no manual that says you must have success at a certain age. If it is meant to be it will be.”
According to Diane Ingabire, another mother of two also in her 30’s currently working with a foreign exchange company, knowing that her happiness depends of her is the best thing to consider in life.
She advised women in their 20’s is to be unique and follow their own path without influence of society’s pressure.
“Be yourself, have your own goals and live your own life. You don’t have a lot of responsibilities while you are in your 20’s. It is the best time to do anything you set your mind to and take advantage of all opportunities you have.”
A mother of three also revealed that she would have loved to follow through with her hobbies and physical fitness during her 20’s.
“Since I am very occupied now with work and my kids, I don’t really get time to follow through with the things I once really enjoyed doing. My advice to women who are in their 20’s is to do what they’re passionate about, career is important but it is not everything that matters in life,” she said
Arlette Umuhoza, a mother who currently works in capital management, said that she wishes she knew how important some skills are in her 20’s.
“Like driving and swimming, it took me moving to a different city to know that driving is essential. This hit me hard due to the fact that I neither know how to swim nor how to drive. It got me to thinking that there are so many other skills that we ignore yet they are very essential,” she said.
I think women in their 20’s should pursue every skill they can learn how to leverage, life has a tendency to lead us in unexpected paths which is why I think it is better to be fully packaged.
Umuhoza advises to women in their 20’s to be flexible and open minded to all possibilities that life brings to them.
“Don’t take a chosen career too seriously. Be flexible and open-minded to trying new paths and switching” she said.
Some of us think that it is a mess if we don’t have our lives all figured out by 25.
On the contrary, it is an opportunity to try out different things and see what suits you the most.
I have a friend of mine who was always interested in finance. She studied to be a banker and now she works in fashion. Careers can be switched. Sometimes , they can be a terrifying move but worth it in the long run.
Doria who is also in her 30’s, says, wishes she would have waited a bit more before getting married in her 20’s.
“I rushed to get married even though I felt like I was not totally ready to settle down. If I was to do it again, I would wait a little bit more. I don’t regret marrying my husband but I think we were still young and still had a lot to learn before marriage,” she said
Sometimes pressure can make us lean into things we are not ready for, either from society or family, it is always better to do something you totally feel ready for.
Doria’s advice to women in their 20’s is to date for happiness not for marriage.
“I think most of us date to immediately marry, which to my opinion is rushing. I think you should date to be happy and if marriage comes along with the package it will be great,” she said
{{More advices}}
Many women I have talked to agreed that marriage is something that must be thought about carefully.
“If the red flags are present in the relationship, they will not disappear in the marriage,” one woman said.
“If you don’t love him, you don’t. Don’t think you will after getting married and don’t certainly marry because you’re pregnant, marry because you have found someone worth your while,” another woman advised.
Generally, most women I talked to emphasized that your 20’s are the best time to up one’s skills, have goals, discipline and most importantly find yourself.
I do not think Life is about having it all together, I think Life is about having the courage and patience to figure it out in your own space at your own pace.
{{Below is a list of some annoying workmates and how to handle them:}}
{{The gossiper}}
Gossip can sometimes be juicy or unnecessary.
You know that type of person that is always whispering in others’ ears, asking too many questions, stalking everyone on their social media, the person you can go to whenever you need information on someone. That is the gossiper and if it is you honey, please stop!
This person not only invades privacy but also spreads rumors that can affect people’s lives.
I know this woman whose workmates call Njajwete, a nickname derived from the Kinyarwanda word ‘Injajwa’, someone who gossips too much.
How to deal with them is simple. Avoid talking to them that much. Little they know about you, the better. Besides, avoid them at all cost whenever they try to bring gossip to you.
{{The suck-up }}
The suck-up also known as ‘Kiss ass’ is the type of person who is constantly trying to get on the good side of the boss or manager. This person would do anything and everything to get noticed and will always compliment every move of the boss for their own advantage.
Now, I know we all know that person and I know we’re all annoyed at some point by this type of behavior.
They remind me of those kids in school that used to suck up to teachers, asking for homework, always putting their hands up, volunteering to clean the board just to be the teacher’s favorite, annoying really.
The thing you could do is exceed the expectations of your boss and ignore the suck up. Unlike suck ups, you should get recognised for your hard work not words.
{{The Know-it-all }}
This is the kind of conceited person who claims to know everything.
Recently, I was talking to friends of mine who was describing her co-worker as a know-it-all, the one that thinks she/he is above other workers and can tell them how to do their jobs.
“You should do this and that” “I prefer it to be done this way”, the type that never fails to remind new employees how much he knows about the business.
Ignoring them, can often be difficult since they’re constantly over people’s heads.
Confronting them is more effective, try calling the person’s bluff with other facts that call into question the know-it-all’s overreaching expertise.
{{The loud talker }}
Talking is one thing but being loud especially in the morning can throw some uncaffeinated people off the grid.
A loud talker can either be the funny guy of the office or the most annoying guy of the office, when you’re lucky he is funny.
I remember a guy I used to work with, so boringly loud, the type to spit random facts that no one really cares about. At first, I would respond to his talks which would only encourage him to speak even more. It was dreadful.
What did I do? I canceled him out. The more you talk to them the more they feel they should talk even more loudly.
If they are constantly trying to find something to talk about, show little to no interest.
{{The constant socializer}}
We all like social people, but sometimes it can get out of hand.
Sometimes people are just introverts, they don’t like over socializing or even socializing at all.
It becomes annoying when a co-worker overdoes it even when it is obvious that your social meter has run out.
The constant socializer is always up for anything, always trying to get you to do something with them, trying to make plans even though they get in the way of work.
The best way for introverts to deal with this type of person is to say less and ignore more. Make less time for them and only allow conversations when needed.
Overall, when different people meet at the same place, their characters, personality and individuality can get in the way and might sometimes be annoying. The best way to deal with all sorts of people is professionalism, consideration and understanding their intentions.
We often hear phrases like ‘she can’t be handled’ ‘she’s too much’ or in some other cases we tell each other ‘she is impossible to deal with’. In other words they blame the modern African woman.
Some men argue that modern women abuse their liberty and always talk about in the name of modernity.
“I always see 32 year old women who are acting like teenagers, excessive partying and drinking, ignoring that liberty does not wash away the quality of being mature and responsible,” a man told me.
This prompted me to ask myself if that is really a modern woman, or what people call ‘slay queens’.
Since my childhood, parents always told me to think for myself, believe in myself and aim higher to lead decent life and achieve something great and impactful to the community. As far as I am concerned, this is what I perceive as the definition of a modern African woman.
But I still wonder why these types of women are considered inapproachable, non wifey material.
Some people I talked to, shared views that a modern women do not need men anymore, that they strive for liberty while their focus on work does not leave any place for love and family.
“Women in my days were more inclined on having a husband and children but it is different nowadays. They want money and luxury, it’s all about careers really.”
As I heard those words, the only thought on my mind was wondering what is wrong with being thirsty for a great career to achieve great things. Can’t women have it all?
I discussed the matter with a friend of mine, Kessy Mugabo Kayiganwa, the co-founder and Creative Director at Ikamba apparel. “Women can have it all,” she said.
Commenting on why some African men think success is a bad trait for a woman, Kayiganwa said: “I think some men feel intimidated to be with such a woman or think it might provide loopholes for contempt. They also scared that they might not get the honour they deserve once unable to cater for needs under their responsibilities as per cultural norms.”
Another man observed that it is hard for African men to stay with such women because they prefer, in most cases, to be with women with less success lest it threatens their masculinity.
“I think the problem lies in factors and standards considered while selecting our partners. Men want a woman who is less successful and women want men who are more successful and it has become an issue for relationships,” he said.
But at the end of the day there is no right way to meet someone. There is no single way for a relationship to function. The old idea of the breadwinning husband, and the perfectionist housewife with her two well-behaved children as the picture of a family is slowly disappearing. .
The problem is about the standards and conditions we have set in our minds that have to change. Humankind adapts in every situation and this should not be an exception.
“I think modernity is part of life, the problem we’re dealing with is that men and women think modernity is an excuse for individual issues and behavior.”
There is no such thing as a perfect wife or a perfect husband, it all comes down to compromise and partnership.
{Yet it is the infinite number of shades in between,
that hold a mirror to the similarities,
Between love and life itself.
Love, at its dawn, is as soft and delicate as the newborn,
whose mother would rather not consider,
the trials which, to grow, her angel will have to conquer.
Like the DNA of its bearer, Love is unique to the lover.
Love moulds itself to the singularities of its subject,
But its core remains intact;
A transcendence of the self,
Beyond the confinements of ego,
Love is what you are willing to forego,
For the ones you wish to see thrive.
Maya Angelou wrote:
“We dare be brave
And suddenly we see
That love costs all we are
And will ever be.
Yet it is only love,
Which sets us free.’’
Love, is a commitment,
that grows weightless,
With the wings of joy.
On dit d’ailleurs que l’amour donne des ailes ;
Et de la perspective d’un bleu ciel
En survolant les travers d’un quotidien laborieux,
La vie peut être si belle.
Love is the invisible thread,
That joins the fabrics of strain,
Effort, delight and hope,
And thus together we cope,
Together we conquer pain.
It matters not the type of love;
Whether affection for a friend, or the support of a partner,
Loyalty for a nation; caring for a departing father
– love, a filament of pure gold,
joins the fate of individuals and their families,
Of families and their communities,
and of communities and whole nations.
Love fulfills duty in patriotism, in friendship, in family or in union,
But the regard and trust one is rewarded with in return,
Should never be weaponized to hold hostage or bond,
Those that on your protection and love rely,
For to dominate rather than protect,
Is to render any said “I love you”, a lie.
Love does not enslave; Love empowers.
And love is faithful, for love cares.
Love liberates; love perseveres.
As for to belonging to a nation,
And contributing to its advancement,
Some may borrow Tina Turner’s words –
“What’s love got to do with it?”
But to this, we raise lyrics of our own,
That speak of a love we shall not forfeit.
Komeza imihigo Rwanda dukunda
Duhagurukiye kukwitangira
Wowe mugongo mugari uduhetse
Dukwirwamo twese tugasusuruka
To love Rwanda is to refuse to see her offspring,
Failing and falling, or starving if there is feed;
Of loving the fellow Rwandans we must make the vows,
Not to overlook any child of Rwanda in need,
But to love and assist as long as capacity allows,
For only love can heal a world ravaged by greed.
Indeed, love allowed Rwanda to brave trials unmatched,
To become a nation of trust and faith,
That while heaven’s eye has pierced through the clouds,
Tomorrow’s light will be brighter still.
We sang to the flowers that grew,
From a soil others once claimed barren,
We saw the power of forgiveness through,
The bliss of peace newly given.
Qui aime bien, châtie peu,
Car l’amour écoute, l’amour pardonne, l’amour rassemble,
Et même sous la pluie de nos avrils nuageux,
L’amour, nous offre chaleur bénissante.
Love is the invisible thread,
That joins the fabrics of strain,
Effort, delight and hope,
And thus together we cope,
Together we conquer pain.
Every one of our nation’s families,
Which together form brave communities,
Will likely face the hardships,
Of every life enriched by relationships.
But to love boldly and intentionally,
Is to trust that the journey will provide,
Discovery and growth which,
Will assemble rather than divide.
To my dear and brave family and friends,
Whom I love to wit’s end,
May the lessons you engraved in my heart,
Allow me to do, in love, my part.
L’amour entre nos familles,
Qui furent un jour déchirées par distance et tragédie,
L’amour défendu en temps tempétueux par notre pays,
Engendre aujourd’hui,
Une jeunesse forte et courageuse,
Dont l’affection offrira un jour à mère patrie,
Des enfants aux rêves nouveaux,
Qu’elle aimera tant chérir.
Solomon sang:
“When I found him whom my soul loveth;
I held him and would not let him go”.
L’amour est un appel du coeur,
Qui ne laisse place à la rancœur,
Car celui qui veut aimer longuement,
Doit s’engager à comprendre,
Que l’amour a besoin de temps,
Pour évoluer, pour s’adapter, pour s’étendre.
Love asks that you drown wounding words,
In a sea of deliberate comprehension;
Resolve resolvable qualms, in spite of anger or hurt,
If it will allow a worthy love to move forward and on.
The life cycle of love isn’t always kind,
But it is fair when your love is humble,
And will endeavour not to leave behind,
Any bond worth the struggle.
If you dare to love boldly and bravely,
With consideration and intent,
You’ll make of life, with faith’s aptness,
A journey of love, a heart’s canvas.
« On ne voit bien qu’avec le cœur.
L’essentiel est invisible pour les yeux. »
Urukundo nirwogere.
}
{{This poetic essay was written by First Lady Jeannette Kagame to engage the public on love following the celebration of Valentine’s Day.}}
When I read the post on Molato_rw’s Instagram, of course I became intrigued. It was just two days before Valentine festival and guess what, this was another attempt for single people to get hitched, I thought. After all, 12th and 13th February are commonly known as ‘Desperate Days,’ in which the singles are the busiest trying to get something, someone in this case, to hang out with on the big day, 14th Feb.
I thought it was going to be the cringiest thing ever but boy was I wrong! My curiosity about the event really never died since I saw the post, and, to be honest, the need to see new people and have fun has been piling up for months; another obscure burden proudly sponsored by Covid-19. Thank God the future looks bright now.
Well, I couldn’t handle it all by myself though, and I turned to my friends for company, and trial if you like, because you never know! Needless to say they hesitated, some asking me why I looked so interested, others proposing other options. It was a battle, but I wasn’t prepared to give up that easily.
At exactly 6:30 PM we arrived at the location, a beautifully fancied place near the Remera Bus Station. It is not quite popular as Molato is yet to officially inaugurate the promising facility, a ceremony eagerly awaited sometime in the next two to three months, I was told.
The event was supposed to start at 4 PM, but my last minute efforts to convince a few more friends took a while, and by the time we got in, the place was fully packed, music blasting from every corner and the vibe was so incredible. It was a proper party.
The first sight would have been just fine until I looked all around and my attention stuck at the impeccable interior design. Interior is usually my weakness, I always fall in love with its brilliance and this time was no different, it was my first crush on the spot.
I could see from the faces of my three gorgeous girlfriends that by then, there was absolutely no regret. In fact, some were too confident and chilling out loud. I wasn’t that dump myself but quite nervous, trying to figure out what could possibly go wrong.
We were greeted by stares and pointy fingers, and the smiley waiter showed us the way to our table near the pool, a perfect spot to observe everything that was happening.
And what did I see? Firstly, I thought that Kigali people would not show up, you know those poor concerts whose shameful emptiness are hard to justify. Then, I thought it was going to be a few cringy people, normal single people and those old-fashioned cliche-guys who pressure you to get a drink, or girls who are desperate to be asked to get a drink.
But it was the complete opposite. Firstly people pulled up in masses, even the engaged ones I know were present. The place was so crowded that you could lose your seat in a blink of an eye. And guess what, only those who are boosted were allowed in. In fact, me and my squad got our boosters at the entrance. The process was so smooth though, we didn’t have to sacrifice our vibes for the shot.
The nature and purpose of this particular event was really something I have not seen before in this beautiful city; crowded people who are just catching up with one another, and I wanted to understand the idea behind this innovation.
Moise, one of the organizers, had something to say. It was hard not to imagine how surprised he must have been at the unfolding of the event, and he was. Struggling to hold in his chuckle, he revealed that the initial idea was just to have fun, but steadily materialized into something serious later on.
“This started as a funny idea,” he said, “We all thought it was a joke, but it became more serious as we went on.”
I asked if they were surprised with how many people pulled up.
“We did this as a social experiment, we wanted to see if people in Kigali would be open to coming to such an event and obviously we’re pleasantly surprised.”
The introduction and discussion part wore on, and time for business had arrived. We went on to receive a card which detailed the color your cup of drink should look like to determine your current dating status.
Green was for people who are ‘Single AF”, Blue was for “DTF”, Orange was for “It’s complicated”, and Pink was for “Taken”. You see, the Taken ‘singles’ were allowed in so you won’t need to wrongly judge the engaged who were present.
I took my green cup and continued to enjoy the night with my friends. People seemed happy, they seemed open and most importantly, the vibe was kind and superb.
Then came the activity we were all waiting for, of which I was nervous about: ‘Speed Dating’. To those who don’t know how the game works, Speed Dating is a matching game.
Attendees embark on a number of quick-fire dates and a bell or buzzer rings when each timed date has come to an end. Players generally progress from one table to the next, until everyone has had a chance to meet each other.
We were given a number and were asked to sit in the reserved part of the restaurant, we waited to meet our spontaneous dates. (I won’t be mentioning names for privacy purposes).
My first was number seven, a software engineer. He was witty and humorous, he was chilled and somehow cute, we connected instantly.
We talked about our experiences in the dating arena and we talked about our types, our glasses cheered everytime we discovered we had many things in common.
“I didn’t know I was going to come here,” he said when I asked why he came. “I am a regular here so my friends called me and told me there were some beautiful ladies so I came and I am not disappointed.”
In fact, most people that came were nicely dressed and ready to impress, I couldn’t understand “how come all these people are still single.”
We continued to chat until our timed minutes were over and then came Number nine, the cringiest guy I have ever met! dark and tall with predominantly pinky shirts in a coloured fashion of Congolese style.
The type with the pick up line “Did it hurt when you fell from the sky”; rude and unauthentic. I was glad when they said our time was over.
Unto the next came number 23, an agricultural enthusiast, he was nervous but kept his nerves. He was also funny and simple,
He talked about his passions and type and I told him mine as well, very sarcastically he said he checked all the boxes.
I asked him why he came to the event and his response was what the organizers had hoped for.
“I wanted to do something new and get new experiences. I am an open person ready to discover new things,” he replied.
By the time we were mixing up and talking, it wasn’t possible to get contacts to follow up. But that time was reserved towards the end of the event. Those who were lucky to find their match would say so and the organizers would then mingle the two. The following steps would be their business. So far, some of my friends have had some good updates. Neither do I regret anything.
Overall I learnt a few things and made a conclusive observation. Different from what we might think, the singles in Kigali are not simply desperate; they are actually living their lives and making connections.
The people I managed to talk to did not come to get hitched or get boo’d up, most people simply came to have fun and meet interesting people.
One of them said “Honestly I am not eager to get into a relationship, I just want to have fun meeting interesting people and perhaps if I do find mister right today that would be fun too.”
One more observation though, Kigali boys really need to up their game. Dudes, some of us came to have fun and just chill, why would some of you panic that much to the point of almost scrapping the whole thing? It was so shameful to see guys who were hiding as if it wasn’t a public dating thing, of which everyone of us was fully aware of.
Also, big up to whoever is doing God’s job of teaching us how to match clothes properly. Yes, the majority of attendees were young, mostly under 30s, but the way everyone was dressed caught everyone’s attention. May it continue.
Organizers also deserve a thumbs-up. The event was so smooth, so clear, no drama, no disappointment and so the likes. We just hope it ain’t the last of such events.
Located in Remera, Molato Restaurant & Bar is not yet popular but has a romantic and private setting. The menu is not extravagant and it is affordable, the music and vibes are also incredible.
{{M Hotel }}
Having opened recently, M hotel is located in town. It has an amazing interior. The prices are affordable and their customer service is quick.
{{Mythos Boutique Hotel }}
Mythos is located in Kiyovu. It is also a fancy place older people can go to. It is classy and affordable.
They are giving a scrumptious 4-course dinner plus a bottle of wine for Rwf70,000 for two and other packages you read on their instagram page ‘The_mythos_hotel”
{{Stipp Hotel Kiyovu }}
Also located in Kiyovu Stipp Hotel has fine dinning options and a beautiful setting. their prices are neither too high nor too low it is affordable depending on placed order.
{{The Retreat Boutique Hotel}}
The Retreat is also located in Kiyovu and has one of the best designs. Their menu is inclusive with many options. The facility is somehow expensive but worth every penny.
{{Nyurah}}
Nyurah Restaurant is a fancy modern place. It is located in the new BPR building in town and has one of the best customer services.
Through their instagram ‘Nyurah_kgl’ they welcomed people on this special day to enjoy fine food paired with Rwandan saxophonist Joshua.
{{Papyrus}}
Papyrus Restaurant is located in Kimihurura. It is a good place to go out with your valentine.
Papyrus’ menu is affordable and if you want to look at Kigali’s beautiful view, you can sit on the upper section of the restaurant.
{{L’epicurien}}
L’epicurien is a French cuisine restaurant located in Kimihurura. It has a romantic setting and has many course dinners and wonderful desserts included.
Dressing to impress doesn’t always mean that you have to be dressed to the “T.” Lots of people think that dressing to impress (for a woman) means that she needs to be wearing a dress, high heels, and make-up. Well, that’s not always the case. You have to dress according to the type of date you’re going on. For example, if you were going on a fishing date, you would look pretty silly showing up to the lake wearing a dress and high heels.
The fact that it would be a fishing date would mean that the only thing needed for this date is comfortable clothes, fishing poles, and high-performance fishing gear… no need for high heels! So situations like that are obvious giveaways on how you should dress for a first date but there are a few golden rules that every woman should follow when it comes to going on a first date. {{Read on to find out more.}}
{{Whatever You Wear, Pick a Color That You Get Complimented On Often}}
As most women know, there are certain colors and prints that just don’t compliment your features or skin tone and then there are some colors that really bring out your most beautiful features and make your skin glow! The colors that compliment you the most are the ones you want to wear for your first date, obviously but it’s not just about the right color… it’s about being comfortable… being comfortable in your own skin rather.
{{For Casual Dates, You Want to Look Effortless}}
An effortless look is one where you look absolutely amazing in your outfit but you still have the look of “oh, I just threw this on really quick.” For casual dates, jeans are perfectly acceptable as well as casual dresses with a pair of flats or low heel shoes, even wedges are fine, depending on the type of date you’re going on. Some casual daytime date staples that would work well include:
-* Jeans/shorts
-* Sandals/Sperry shoes
-* Graphic Tee/”flowy” tank top
-* Comfortable dress
{{For Dinner Dates, Comfort is Key}}
When you’re on a dinner date, you’re going to eat, right? Yes, so you don’t want to wear anything that’s going to be super tight on you to where once you start eating, you can’t breathe. You also don’t want to wear anything so tight that you can barely walk or sit down in it… remember, comfort is key. In fact, thelist.com has clothing that’s too tight on their list of things you should never wear on a date!
If you’re out on a dinner date with a man, he’s going to be able to see that you’re uncomfortable. You may find it hard to believe but guys pay attention to those things, so whether you visibly look uncomfortable sitting in a tight dress or if you’re barely eating your meal because you don’t want to get too full in your dress, they’re going to know what’s going on and wonder why you dressed like in a way to be so uncomfortable.
{{Choose an Outfit That Makes You Look and Feel Like the Best Version of Yourself}}
They say when you look good, you feel good and that couldn’t be truer. Have you ever put on an outfit and knew you looked amazing? Yes, everyone has but the moment you saw yourself in the mirror looking good, a powerful surge of confidence took over your body, didn’t it? Of course it did and that’s what made you feel good.
For your first date, wear an outfit that makes that confidence come out because aside from a beautiful outfit and a gorgeous smile, your confidence is the other impression you’ll make that will have him thinking about you all night.
Ultimately, when it comes to first dates, you want to be yourself… that’s the best thing you can wear to any date and if they don’t like what they see, then he wasn’t the one for you anyway!
{{Here are 7 wedding traditions and their meaning}}
{{1. Why men get down on one knee to propose }}
A man getting down on one knee to propose is deemed a sign of respect and surrender. The act signifies humility before the woman he wishes to marry while also acknowledging he’s surrendering his single life behind.
{{2. Why does the groom have a best man? }}
This is a tradition that springs from Anglo-Saxon England. According to history, the groom takes along his most trusted and strongest friend (best man) to ensure his bride is protected during the ceremony.
{{3. Why does the bride have bridesmaids? }}
In modern times, the bridesmaids help with the planning of the wedding but the tradition of having bridesmaids started in Roman times. Bridesmaids were believed to act as decoys to evil spirits trying to harm the bride.
{{4. Why does the bride stand to the left of the groom? }}
It was common during ancient times to have the bride kidnapped so the bride stood to the left of the groom so the groom could hold her with his left hand and draw his sword with his right hand, should other suitors try to kidnap her.
{{5. Why does the bride throw the bouquet? }}
This stems from a French 14th century tradition. During ancient times, it used to be considered good luck to get a piece of the bride’s wedding dress. To avoid a ruined dress and being physically grabbed as the bride and groom were trying to run off on their honeymoon, brides began throwing bouquets to distract the guests. Guests were happy grabbing the bouquet as flowers were believed to bring romantic luck for the future.
{{6. Why do brides wear a veil? }}
It is believed Roman brides wore bright veils for their wedding to ward off evil spirits.
{{7. Why throw confetti during weddings? }}
Confetti is an Italian word used for a type of sugar almond tossed into the air during special occasions. In ancient Britain, throwing grains of rice at newlyweds was seen as a symbol of fertility.
Best case scenario it will feel awkward to tell you who their celebrity crush is. After all, at the very least it means that you are not the only person on their mind 24/7. Worst case scenario is that your feelings might get hurt because you look nothing like Scarlett Johansson or Rihanna.
{{2. Who’s their non-celebrity crush}}
Take the awkwardness and offense of knowing their celebrity crush and multiply it by 100, because a non-celebrity crush is (potentially) even more threatening. Like, there’s no chance that they’ll ever get to meet Megan Fox (is she still anyone’s celebrity crush?), but their coworker or best friend’s friend is right there.
{{3. What topics/people they talk about with their friends}}
Conversations between close friends can cover anything, and the trust between two mutual best-friends opens conversations up to the most intimate details of personal lives and preferences.
{{4. Their favorite hip-hop songs}}
Hip-hop songs (especially the Top 40, popular kind) tend to be at least a little misogynistic and homophobic. If not that – they can be pretty graphic and vulgar. Now, of course, there’s Kanye West and Kendrick Lamar and J. Cole, but then there’s also Remy Ma, Tyler, The Creator, and Death Grips. I’m of the opinion that people can enjoy whatever kind of music they like, and it’s not necessarily a reflection of their personality. However, experience shows that not everyone like this.
{{5. Their favorite rock ballads}}
If they have a fragile masculinity (e.g. they’re “soft guys” and shouldn’t be classified as macho warriors), can you imagine how difficult it will be for them to admit that they enjoy sappy, lovey-dovey rock ballads about great love and deep commitment?
{{6. Their image and fitness goals}}
I feel like in our capitalist society everyone is at least a little unhappy with their body and their image. So, obviously, your boyfriend won’t tell you he wants to look like Ryan Gosling because what he feels that will do is immediately make you start comparing what you have and what you could have if your boyfriend put in the effort to stop eating pizza and go to the gym. “Look at your man. Now look at me. Now look at your man.”
{{7. The stupid crap they spend money on}}
Budgeting is difficult. Spending responsibly is nearly impossible. And, finally, sharing what kind of stupid crap you spend your money on can just be straight up embarrassing for them to reveal.
{{8. How boring he finds your stories}}
Your boyfriend definitely doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, but I can guarantee that at least 20% (best-case scenario) of your stories bore him out of his mind. But he loves you, so he’s going to nod politely and ask follow up questions about half the time to make it seem like you still have something to talk about these days.
{{9. What he’s thinking when he’s barely keeping it together but says “I’m fine”}}
This one is the most universal. Sometimes you just know it’s best to keep your mouth shut and let the anger go away before you discuss important relationship questions. So, “I’m fine” never means that they’re fine, but it’s your signal to leave them alone and pester them with questions at a later time.
{{10. That he’s considered breaking up with you}}
This one is self-explanatory and also includes him thinking about “What life would have been with that other person,” and “What life would have been if they were single,” and “Who gets the TV and is it fair that you get everything and I get nothing?”
{{11. His guilty pleasure pop song tastes}}
It seems like these days everyone has decided that “guilty pleasures” aren’t a thing and everyone can like whatever kind of bland, boring pop music they want to like, but maybe your boyfriend doesn’t want you to know that he’s actually completely obsessed with Carly Rae Japsen or Britney Spears.
{{12. How much he truly values your relationship}}
Can you imagine being completely open about how you love a person? That amount of vulnerability is nearly impossible to be comfortable with. If you only knew how much they love you, you would probably take advantage of that. All. The. Time.!
