Category: Lifestyle

{{Siri, Mars, Mac and Luna. I’m not talking Apple products or planetary terms. These are baby names. And not just any baby names but ones that have jumped in popularity in 2012, according to Baby Center.com’s just released list.}}

Baby Siri? Seriously, who would name their bundle of joy after a frustrating Apple product that hardly ever works? And speaking of Apple (see daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin,) that name moved up a whopping 585 places on the list of names for girls born in 2012. So there could conceivably be a family out there with a daughter named Apple and a son named Siri. (Hope that entitles the family to a discount on an iMac.)

There was a time when bizarre baby naming was something only celebrities did to their kids (as if being the child of a celebrity wasn’t challenging enough). There’s Beyonce and Jay Z’s Blue Ivy, Penn Jillette’s son, Moxie Crimefighter, Bono’s daughter Memphis Eve, actor Jason Lee’s son Pilot Inspektor, and the list goes on and on.

But now this “condition” is apparently spreading to the rest of us. In addition to the offbeat names above, 2011 saw babies sporting such names as: Moo, Draper, Graceland and Tequila.

There are even media reports that this past weekend some parents allegedly named their newborn daughter, Hashtag. That one may turn out to be an Internet hoax, but after last year’s story of a child in Egypt being named Facebook (in praise of the role Facebook played in the Egyptian revolution), we can’t be too far from babies named Retweet and Spam Blocker anyway. It truly is only a matter of time until you meet a kid named DVR or Playstation 3.

Apparently some parents believe that giving their child a jaw-dropping name will make him or her more distinctive. News flash: it’s not the name that makes your child stand out, it’s his or her achievements.

While I don’t want to rain on creativity, let’s be honest — these weird names are more about parents showing off their “cleverness” than about finding a name that fits the child. It’s not like the parents got to know the child first for a few months and then said, “You know this baby really is a little Siri.”

And do these parents even consider that a baby’s name can cause consequences for the child that the parents never imagined, and in many areas of the child’s life? When I reflect upon my own name, I realize that my life could have been far different if my parents had followed their initial instincts when naming me.

My Palestinian father wanted to name me Saladin after the famous Muslim leader, while my Sicilian mother wanted to name me Dino. Instead they compromised on Dean.

Growing up in North Jersey, Dean was not a common name. But it actually made me feel different in a good way being the only Dean in my class. And even today in looking at the list of baby names for 2012, I was actually happy that Dean was not in the top 100.

Still, the truth is, if I’d been named Dino, I would have certainly been viewed as more ethnic by teachers, potential employers and co-workers. I would have been required to continually overcome cultural stereotypes.

And if I’d been named the very Arabic Saladin Obeidallah, you could just imagine all the “fun” I would have had in post-9/11 America. I would have likely volunteered for “random” security checks at the airport to make it easier for all involved or simply got used to taking the bus cross country.

But there’s a difference between a name that isn’t overly common and naming your child after your favorite appliance. A name is a big part of a kid’s identity. It can trigger impressions about a child even before we meet him or her — a particular problem among the closed-minded of the world, but this is the world your child will have to navigate.

For example, studies have found that children with names that linguistically sound like they come from a lower socioeconomic status are less likely to be recommended by school officials for gifted classes and actually more likely to be labeled as learning disabled.

Other research has revealed that boys with feminine sounding names — such as Shannon or Ashley — have had more disciplinary problems in school because of their response to teasing.

Still other studies have found a link between how much people like their own names and their level of self-esteem.

So, parents, keep in mind that your choice of name will have a lasting impact on your child — both for good and bad. And if you insist on picking a bizarre name for the baby, then I propose that your child be empowered to rename you with any name he or she chooses.

At least then it’s fair that a child named Hashtag has parents named Angry Birds and YouTube.

{Author is a former attorney, is a political comedian and frequent commentator on various TV networks }

{{Rihanna sent out this shot of her hot GQ cover to Twitter followers, showing off her sexy December issue cover shot.}}

The star, who is pantless for this photo, goes topless in another shot for the mag spread.

As part of the story, writer Jay Bulger went clubbing with Rihanna, and guess who happened to be at the club? Chris Brown. Here’s what happened, according to Bulger:

“Chris Brown brashly stands on top of his bench in the neighboring booth. He and Rihanna start tossing flirtatious glances like kids passing notes in middle-school math class.

The smirks and the playfulness continue until they’re dancing with each other from afar.

Then, out of mock frustration, Brown climbs over the top of the booth. A mischievous tingle of controversy vibrates through the club.

There, in the middle of all the craziness: Rihanna stares straight at me and passes me a spliff.

She turns her green-hazel Bambi gaze back to Brown and begins to sway those famous hips from side to side.

It’s 2 a.m. She looks like she’s just getting started.”

Miss Universe 2012, Leila Lopes, is in Windhoek. The 26-year-old Angolan beauty arrived in Namibia Tuesday as part of her Southern African tour.

Leila’s visit will last three days and she will be doing some charity work during her stay in Namibia.

{{Few people talk about money during courtship — it’s not romantic. Even after marriage, money remains an awkward topic. In good times, it is a neglected subject. In troubled times, money can be a point of stress.}}

While money itself is not often cited in divorce proceedings, it has an uncanny ability to amplify the issues plaguing a difficult relationship.
Explicit and detailed pre-wedding money discussions are uncommon, but silent and implicit discussions in the form of family negotiations, wedding receptions and other elaborate ceremonies can be deafening and have a lasting impact.

The financial stress of a couple’s efforts to recover from costs of the marriage ceremonies can cloud financial arrangements throughout their marriage.

As the newlyweds recover from a lavish wedding or just learn to survive on their own incomes, they confront many questions, such as: Who pays the rent and the EWSA bills? Whose relatives can they support financially? How much can each spend on social drinks with friends? Who should pay for accommodation?

How should they manage differences in salaries? How should domestic responsibilities be shared? How much should they set aside for aging parents? Which schools can they afford for their children? Who gets first dibs in further education expenses they pay for jointly?

If you discussed these and similar questions before you married, you have the Wisdom of Solomon and the courage of David before Goliath. It is a difficult discussion to have because each person wants, especially then, to be seen as generous.

If you still believe all money-related decisions are the sole responsibility of one spouse (traditionally the man), it’s time to wake up. But if dealing with money is still a work-in-progress, as it is for most couples, consider reducing the stress it can cause in your relationship by explicitly discussing the following:

{{Financial baggage}}: No two families relate to money in exactly the same way. In one family, money matters were discussed over dinner; in another, money was the sole prerogative of one parent. One might have experienced overt arguments over money; the other absolute silence.

You need to acknowledge your own financial baggage. You can’t change the past, but you can change negative learned behaviuors (e.g., secrecy) and build on positive influences (e.g., a healthy savings culture). Let your partner know what influences your decision-making process.

{{Full disclosure:}} Before and during your marriage, commit to fully disclosing ALL your personal assets and liabilities. Tuition fees for a child born out of wedlock are not an off-balance sheet item. Swap bank statements.

Full disclosure includes social insurance contracts. If your eldest siblings paid for your education in full and there is a family expectation that you will do the same for your younger sibling, include it in your disclosure discussions.

{{Differences in income}}: Perhaps the most important potential source of stress arises when partners have significant differences in income, with the actual and perceived privileges, rights and obligations this bestows on the higher-earning spouse.

This difference impacts decision-making for major expenses, sharing essential and discretionary costs and the style of social engagements and commitments. Some couples decide that the lesser income should be used for their joint discretionary pleasure or the sole use of the partner earning less.

Others commit that money to a single family expense; yet others share all expenses 50:50 regardless of income. It is more efficient to focus on total household income and treat it all as joint money. Focus on the total income and prepare a single family budget — irrespective of the source of funds.

{{Joint accounts:}} There are as many divergent views on joint accounts as there are marriages. Personally, I think that as long as a marriage has a single balance sheet and income statement, the number of accounts is only an administrative convenience.

If a joint account makes it easier to track expenses or qualify for a mortgage, then so be it. For this reason some families choose to pool some or all of their incomes into one account. At a minimum, however, maintaining individual accounts is still important.

{{Discretionary funds:}} Irrespective of anything else, each partner needs access to an agreed amount of discretionary funds. In the same way companies operate petty cash accounts, individuals need funds they can utilise as they please — for birthday gifts, random acts of kindness, personal hobbies and other activities that we all need to maintain our individual characters (which attracted our partners in the first place).

Of course, the appropriate amount of discretionary funds is unique to each family, but it should not exceed the percentage of total income set aside for investments and savings. How these funds are used is a different issue.

To what extent should irregular income from business ventures be included in the household finances? If one spouse is doing a side business out of his/her ‘discretionary funds’, where should the proceeds go?

How to handle money within marriage is a topic with no universal rules. Each financial contract between two individuals is unique. Pick the suggestions that work for you and discard the rest.

There is only one marriage that matters and that is yours! Don’t concern yourself with the Bandas next door who just bought their third car; the Chabotas up the road who are going to London on vacation; or the Simasikus across the road who are expanding their house for the third time. Find a formula that works for your marriage and stick with it.

Ps… this article contains general advice about financial discussions in marriages, and is provided without any representations or warranties express or implied; it is not intended to resolve any marital disputes, financial or otherwise.

You must not rely on the content of this article as an alternative to professional marital advice from your pastor or other professional marriage counsellor.