That is the state in which I found Nadine Tuyishime, a mother of a young boy whose ordeal is a life-sobering experience.
Six years ago, her son (name withheld), was born a happy baby like many others but the joy that comes with the birth of a child was not to last long because he was born with Autism.
The boy could not express his needs or communicate well until the age of four, necessitating the continued use of diapers. He remained silent when spoken to, behaving as if he had a hearing impairment. His mode of communication was very unpredictable.
“If you took something he wanted or didn’t do what he wanted, he would throw himself on the ground in anger to indicate his displeasure,” she reminisces.
Before Tuyishime discovered that her son was autistic, she would often discipline him physically, hoping to correct his behaviour. While this approach did lead to some changes, it also caused her son to become secluded.
“I tried to correct this by beating him, which made him stop, but he also stopped loving me. This was very hard to comprehend as a parent,” she explains.
With the help of relatives and friends, Tuyishime enrolled her son into a school of children with special needs know as Autism Rwanda Center where his ability and sense of acumen have greatly improved.
Her son is one of 11 children who recently graduated from the centre after showing great improvement in social behaviour and displaying readiness and willingness to get integrated into regular school programs.
Despite the improved ability of his son, Tuyishime has endured emotional breakdown because of a time she felt helpless regarding her son’s condition.
“He enrolled in nursery school with limited speech, but eventually, he stopped talking altogether. This was the biggest heartbreak I have ever encountered in my life,” she said with a tinge of bitterness and despair in her voice.
On a lighter note though, Tuyishime’s son has emotionally stabilized and is now ready to attend regular primary school even though he still needs constant monitoring.
Mothers of children born with Autism often think that it is a curse or condemnation for having done something wrong during the pregnancy to cause the problem.
Most of them go through emotional breakdowns because such a condition causes significant cognitive delays in growth, making it difficult for the children to keep up at the same level as their peers. They do not go through regular schooling programs like others.
However, once put in a safe environment, free from the mistreatment of those who do not understand his condition, autistic children are able to learn basic life skills such as reading and writing.
At a young age, most of these children are unable to adapt to varying conditions, their speech is blurred, they can’t easily express their needs and cry frequently.
A lot is required in transforming autistic children, especially in helping stabilize their emotions.
Parents are usually advised not to force things when they notice something unusual with their children, but rather seek adequate information about the issue and find early ways to help instead of judging without understanding.
{{What is Autism?
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Autism is a developmental disorder that affects the brain and nerve function, resulting in mental disabilities. It causes unusual behavior and makes it difficult for individuals to understand why they need to perform certain actions.
Those with autism often exhibit selective eating habits, struggle to control their emotions, and have difficulty understanding social interactions, sometimes remaining silent as if they do not comprehend.
They are generally averse to changes in their routine, which can lead to intense frustration when their environment is altered or when they are placed in unfamiliar situations, affecting their emotional stability.
Additionally, they face challenges with speech, sometimes repeating the same word multiple times or failing to string together coherent sentences, which contributes to cognitive delays, requiring special attention.
Medics say that there is not proven cause of Autism and most of the time it can be detected when a child is about two years old.
“Autism is typically diagnosed around two years of age because that’s when the social, behavioral and verbal dysfunction becomes clearer. Most of the time it’s diagnosed after two years especially if the child is on a milder spectrum,” says Doctor Edgar Kalimba, a senior consultant Pediatrician at King Faisal Hospital.
Currently, there are no government centres in Rwanda for people with autism apart from private institutions Autism Rwanda-Center.
Rosine Duquesne Kamagaju, the Director at the centre urges the government to establish affordable support systems for children with autism, as parents with limited means cannot access necessary assistance.
“We earnestly ask the government to continue supporting us. They help a little, but we need more substantial efforts. Parents are suffering, but these children are capable,” she said.
Duquesne Kamagaju shares the view that establishment of similar centres in other provinces is very important as some will have to make long-distance travels to access such facilities in Kigali.
At Autism Rwanda, children receive optimum care to stimulate their brains, stabilize their emotions, help them interact socially, and provide basic education as if they were in regular schools.
